robbers [spam//completed]

let me tell you a story

It's the summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he's like "Yo, I know about music." and Patrick's like "Yo, I know more about music."

"That's impossible..Do you want to start a band?" and Patrick's like "Yeah that's cool." and then he's like "Yo this is a bookstore this is not a music store."

And then they met at Patrick's house. So Patrick is wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some f***ing reason, and Pete's there for some reason. And they start playing together, and they're like "Oh, let's play some covers from some other bands."

It was like Green Day, and f***in' Misfits, and f***in' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "Yo, we gotta change this s*** up. Yo we've played all these bands, let's play some s*** from Fall Out Boy."

And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope, but we need a f***in' drummer."

Because Patrick's playing drums, and he's a singer. Patrick's like "Yo, I got a soul voice." , and they're like "Wait how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like "Yo, watch this: YeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeAAAAAHHHHhaaaHHHEEaaH!"

And they're like "Oh my God, that sounds like soul." So they put it in a song, and it was like "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIiIIIIIiiiiIIIIiiiiiiiiGHT?"

And they're like "Yo, that's f***ing perfect, this is Fall Out Boy."

And they made records like Evening Out with Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.

"It's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend."

With your ex-girlfriend. It's called Evening Out With Your EX-Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter.

And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe, and he was like "Yo, what the Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu**? Yo, this is gonna be f***in' dooooooope!"

So they made a record, and it was called Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer, and they had like three-four drummers come in. The four drummer they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from like Papa Roach or something, and they're like "Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. F***in' record it."

And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalilililililila, pshhh." Killin' the skins, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the s***, killin' these b****es, rapping it out.

You're getting a f***ing tattoo right now, what the f*** is going on?

We should get signed by Fueled By Ramen, 'cause these guys know what the f*** is going on.

And they were like "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not f***in' hard, we will sign you guys."

Pete was like "Yo, we got this record that f***in' dooooooope, dude it's called Take This To Your Grave, it's called From under The Cork Tree, and it's gonna be f***in' huge."

And Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album, and it's called [BURP] Thanks For The Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, Sugar We're Goin' Down."

And they made this record that was f***in' dope, and it f***in' hit on the charts like one, two, three, three, two, one, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten to ONE. From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records- ten million records, fifteen million records!

And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick's like "That's GOOOooooOOOOD!" Pete was like "Yo, f*** you, I can do whatever I want!"

Joe was like "Yeah, it's cool man, whatever, I don't give a s***." And then Andy was like "Eh, cool."

And Pete was like "Make-up is f***in' great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful, and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everyone thinks that guys are beautiful."

SHUT THE F*** UP!

Oh f*** alright, alright.

Pete was like "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." And then I saw the dick pic, and was like "Ah, it's not bad."

It's not a bad dick, let's be real.

We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed, they were like "Yo f*** you guys!" They're like "Yo, Panic! has the f***in' cover for Rolling Stone yo, f*** these dudes, we're gonna go miles above, we're gonna hit every f***in' continent there is known to man."

But they didn't, they missed a second of time. Apparently, they were like "Oh s***, we got every continent." And they didn't actually hit it. Dude, and Pete was like "WHAT THE F***? 'Oh it's like you didn't f***in' make the continent.,' it's like F*** YOU!"

So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we f***in' have like three-four years of awesomeness. Like people are comin' on themselves 'cause it's so big.

Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-

So Patrick was like "Yo, we're gonna name these records From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High ."

Pete was like "Folie a Deux means the theatric of two."

"The madness of two."

Oh, sorry, I'm sorry.

Fall Out Boy was like "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like "Yo, we gotta take a break, bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUHUHUHUH."

And Joe's like "Yo, I need time to find the f***in' art dude, I gotta find some me-metal."

And Andy's like "I'm just gonna play with some f***in' metal bands."

And they're like "Alright, this break's been like three years long-two years long-three years long-three and a half? We gotta f***in' come back, man, we gotta come back strong."

You took my beer away, what the f***?

"No, you poured it all over yourself."

"Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man, here."

"We gotta make this s*** legit, it's gonna be f**in' dope, it's gonna go f***in' sky high. We're gonna make a f***in' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record Save Rock And Roll."

So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix, and everybody's like "What the f***? You're working with this guy who f***in' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk."

Is this pu-what the f*** is on my shirt, did I puke myself? Oh God.

Pete was like "Yo, we're gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots."

And that's all, and that's all that matters. And that's just how the f***in' story goes