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Hi

Rant.

So, leave if you'd rather not hear.

I'm getting really upset (not just sad, but not quite only mad either,) about college. It's been pushed in my family since I was little that I need a stable, good job and need to go to college. Now, the various careers I've thought over over the years were strikingly contrasting and I'm going to give an overview right now.

The first job I ever thought of was being a doctor, a pediatrician actually. When I was little I was also a ballet dancer and when my parent asked me if I wanted to act I thought about it, secretly saying yes, but saying no because even six or seven year old me realized that acting was an unstable job. But, I wanted to be a doctor since I was really little.

The next job I thought of was being a horse trainer and I was going to be an instructor and therapist for disabled kids. I was going to teach them respect and responsibility through riding horses while also addressing their mental issues and challenges. (This was all thought through at fourth grade by the way,) When we did a map of our lives I wrote that down as my job for when I was older.

After fourth grade, it shifted to being a teacher, mostly thanks to my amazing fourth grade teacher. I wanted to be a teacher so badly, and from fourth grade on I developed a different respect and regard for my teacher's (except for my current biology and my history teacher, who in my opinion, aren't the best,) ((also seventh and eighth grade gym teacher oooh man,) I wanted to be an elementary teacher for all subjects.

In seventh grade I developed an interest in art and I really wanted to be an animator. In eighth grade we did a project in futures and I wrote all about wanting to go to CalArts for Experimental Animation and get my BFA and work for Studio Laika which is a feature film stop motion company near Washington. I adored animation and talked to my cousin, who attended CalArts about it and also discussed CSSSA.

June 2016, before ninth grade, it changed again. I watched the Tony Awards. Boom. Instantaneous transition to actress with a focus on theatre, specifically musical theatre. I needed to be a Broadway actress, or at least an off-Broadway or off-off-Broadway. I researched summer pre-college conservatories and wished and prayed for my mother to realize my passion for something I haven't really done before. When I mention it, they always say on the side.

Mostly as a cover for my secret ambition, I said being a vet or an optometrist. Both were intriguing enough and I liked both fields, however when I thought about the application of the schooling, I shied away.

Well, my mom just came out of her bedroom so I'm going to talk to her. This will probably be continued