Timing is Everything

Chapter Twenty-One

                                            Chapter Twenty-One

       Everything happened in a blur. One minute I was at Meredith's house and the next I was in my apartment a blubbering mess. I made sure to lock my front door and turn off my cell phone. I don't want anybody to bother me right now.

I spend the night lying in bed just staring up at the white ceiling. I have a box of tissues on my left, a pint of Ben and Jerry's on my right, and a bottle of red wine on my nightstand. Everything feels like it’s going in slow motion. I’m sitting here and all I feel is a deep numbness from within. The pain in my heart doesn’t seem to want to subside. It doesn't hit me fully until I turn over to look at the digital clock on my nightstand. 3:41 A.M.

I told Jamison that I love him. Oh God. He knows how I truly feel now. Oh shit. He doesn’t love me. My mind goes over this at full speed. I force my eyes closed and cover myself with the blankets. I don't want to remember how much I messed up yet again.

But this time I've messed up worse than ever.

I wake-up to a loud banging on my front door. The sound is so loud I feel as if it’s echoing in my mind. I get out of bed as slowly as possible. The light peeking through my drapes forces me to squint my eyes. I stumble through my small apartment to make it to the door. I hold my head and my stomach as it suddenly turns sour.

       "What the hell happened? I have been calling you non-stop, Lorelei! I was so worried. I came over as quickly as I could," Meredith yells at me. I close my eyes and rub my temples some more, hoping it magically makes the pain go away.

We walk over to the couch and sit down together. Meredith looks gorgeous. Her hair is curled to perfection and is in a neat little twist. And she's wearing a salmon colored sundress with a cream colored cardigan that makes her look like the goddess she truly is. I can only imagine just how horrible I look right now.

       "I'm sorry. Yesterday was a really shitty day."

       "I heard. Well, Hudson did too...and so did my parents. But it doesn't matter. Jamison left a few minutes after you. He was really--"

I cut her off with some sort of yelping sound. "Please don't bring him up. I really don't want to hear about him. Never again please."

Meredith looks at me with her doe eyes. I can see some pity there, but most of it is sincere concern. It warms my newly shattered heart. Dammit. I'm going to start crying again.

       "Oh Lorelei, I'm so sorry, darling!" Meredith wraps her arms around me and lets me cry. She rubs my back while telling me that "everything is going to be okay." She also lets me know that "we're going to make it through this."

Her words of encouragement mean more to me than she will ever know.

       "I don't want to ruin this beautiful bonding moment, but you need to get your ass ready for the bachelorette party tonight! I’m happy I got here when I did. My parents took me out for a last minute brunch. It was really lovely, but I am so ready to party," Meredith is obviously excited. She should be. Tonight is supposed to be a ton of good, drunken, partying fun. But now that Jamison and I are over, I don't know how tonight is going to go anymore.