poetry for the poetic: 5

CXXII

<insomniac's diary: "time">

8pm
it's your first date, and you're both laughing uncontrollably. your stomach is hurting from it, and you realize this is probably the best night you've ever had.

11am
you wake up with a smile on your face, and the first thing you do is text her 'good morning'. your smile turns into a grin when she texts you back instantly.

6pm
you've gone on several dates now, and you're already thinking she might just be the one. you look down at her and she's laughing so hard at the movie that she's snorting, when you whisper her name, she looks up at you, and you lean in to kiss her. and she kisses you back.

5pm
you've been together for six months, and you're cuddled up on her couch, watching her favorite show. you can't help to think that this is good. this is really fucking good.

12pm
you wake up to her calling and she's crying on the phone, telling you that her mom got real sick during the night. you rush over to be with her, and as you calm her down she whispers that she loves you, and you whisper it back.

2pm
it's been a year and a couple of months together, and you two just moved into your first apartment together. it's only been a few hours and you've already fucked on every surface of the place. she's in your lap, on the shitty sofa you bought off craigslist, and she's panting. and you're smiling up at her. this is all you've ever wanted and needed. and this is just the start.

3am
you come home late without letting her know where you were and it starts a fight. your very first fight. it lasts for two hours and ends with her in the bathroom crying, you're at the door begging her to open it. and once she does, you hold her tight and tell her you'll never make her cry like that again.

2am
it's a few weeks later and you break your promise, it's another late night that causes another dumb fight. you shove her out of your way to leave, and she spends the night curled up in the bed you share sobbing, wondering what went wrong.

4am
you text her that you're sorry and that you love her. she doesn't text back.

1pm
you come home to her waiting for you, and you talk for hours upon hours until you work it out. you're good again, and you feel like you can finally breathe. you never want to hurt her again.

11pm
it's been months, and while you still have the occasional spat you've finally worked everything out. living together isn't bad. you're cuddled up in bed and you kiss her cheek, telling her that you want to spend of the rest of your life with her. she smiles and nods, kisses you back, and turns to go to sleep without a word.

12pm
you're at the beach and the ring box in your pocket is burning a hole, you aren't sure if you can wait any longer to ask her. so as you listen to her talk about aliens, you pull it out and blurt out the words 'will you marry me?' she pauses and doesn't say anything, and your heart is beating harder than it's ever beat before. but she says yes, and you feel like you could die happy.

4pm
it's been a few months, with little wedding planning and you don't know what's going on. something's different, and you can tell. she's barely looked at you, she doesn't seem to have much interest in anything other than work. and you're worried.

8pm
once she's home from work, she turns her head when you try to kiss her on the lips. you ask her what's wrong, and she says nothing. you ask her again, and she gets mad. you're up late arguing. it ends with you on the couch, and her with the bedroom door locked.

7am
three days later she tells you that you two need to talk, and she sits you in the small kitchen. her eyes are watering, and she's trying not to cry. you know it's not good. so you ask her to just spit it out, and she tells you there's someone else. she hasn't cheated, she says. but she just knows she's meant to be with this person. she says she doesn't love you anymore.

8am
it's been an hour and her bags are packed, and she hands you the engagement ring. she whispers that she's sorry, and she hopes that one day you two can be friends.

8am
she's gone.