The insider

Short story

If only they knew" I cried to myself while I walked through the grey path, accompanied by the grey clouds and carried by my grey heart. Even my old yellow dress was covered with dust and I felt totally dirty, I still couldn't believe my little Johnny had died. I still couldn't believe that my son had ever been alive.

I took three showers, but that feeling remained. I don't know what I'm feeling and I can't understand why I'm feeling like this, I mean part of me had wished that Johnny had never been born but now everything seems different. I heard the door banging , and I ran to the kitchen as fast as lightening, I didn't know how I was going to tell this to my husband. How he was going to take it or his reaction.

-Where's my beer?- He said when he arrived to the sofa

I apologized and gave him a big bottle of his essential substance. I admit that my husband has problems with alcohol but we all have defects.

-Drew, I have to tell you something very important- I told him on a serious mood.

-We don't have any more whisky?-He laughed in my face

-Johnny passed away, he got badly injured saving a bunch of little kids trapped on a church that was set on fire.

-Johnny? A hero? It seems he forgot his cape.- He mocked again

-Shut up! You have been drinking since the day we met, what are we going to do?

-Why do you care so much? He was the reason why our marriage is a piece of shit and also the reason why you got so fat. The kid was a nightmare.

Once again I faced that lump in my throat. Part of me was appalled because at Drew's reaction . He had never the ideal relationship with Johnny, but I never would have expected that kind of response. I wanted to shout at him but another part of me was scared to death.

My marriage has a lot of failures. I sacrificed all I had for it, things so crucial as family, socioeconomic position and even my fate. 'Cause let's admit it, I was crazy in love with Drew.

I used to live on a house made of bricks (In those times I couldn't have cared less about the material the house was made, but now everything is different) In the prosperous west side territory. I know it seems impossible , but surprisingly it was the truth, I was a soc. In fact my family was one of the most known families of society. My father got a big deal with a foreign investor and once the company started, money came in like snow in winter.

I was the smallest sister of a perfect family whose mother was a beauty and whose responsible sister always completed her duty. In other words, we all tried to be perfect because we all wanted people to realize we were the best at everything, and I have to accept it, when we wanted something to shine, it shone more than the sun.

My favorite part of our house was the garden. I remember its pretty red flowers and spending time playing there for long hours.I loved to touch the soft grass, the smell of nature and happiness. I miss that life so much.

You may be wondering, what happened. How was a mansion was replaced by a thim roof, and the soft grass substituted by infertile soil? Well the thing is that I met the love of my life, Prince Charming , although he didn't look like a prince. He was a greaser, a dirty, poor, daring, passionate hood.

Another thing you may ask, how did I meet him? That's another story. My mind was crazy, I was in shock, I was kind of hurt , kind of relieved.

Suddenly the phone rang

-ELISE,THE PHONE IS RINGING !-Drew shouted.

I ran quickly, I'm always in a hurry, I grabbed the phone and I listened.