This Little Book of Mine

My Buddy

Buddy:

How's it been? I know you probably can't reply to this letter, but I just wanted you to know that I miss you dearly.

I miss our little chats about Sunday's The Walking Dead and the latest superhero movies. Or our discussions about deep, personal stuff. I miss everything we used to do together.

I guess I've been tumbling down the rabbit hole ever since "that day." I've been feeling more and more sad lately. I don't want to say that I'm depressed because I don't want to worry you, but that just might be it. I think I'm depressed. I've been having these thoughts about death and all.

Death isn't as bad as it seems, I've realized. I mean, how is it worse than the life we're living in today? There's poverty, war, and all types of discrimination. Death just seems so peaceful compared to all that. Sleeping is great, so can you imagine how an eternal slumber sounds? Pretty frickin' amazing.

I know, I sound selfish for saying that, but don't worry. I don't plan on dying anytime soon. But if I can't have death, I want to at least numb the pain I feel inside me. This everlasting emotional pain is physically agonizing. And I don't like that. So I've found a few things to distract me from my emotional pain.

Physical pain! Don't worry. No one ever notices. Besides, if someone did, what can they do about it? They can't stop me. I don't even understand what's so bad about it. I feel less depressed because I can focus only on the pain. It's like, free meds or something.

I know depression is a touchy topic for you, and trust me. I get it now. I wish you could reply.

I do wish so.

Forever missing you,
Elizabeth

(A/N: This was a little more personal {ha, like everything in this book isn't personal}, but I left it a bit ambiguous as well.

If you have gone or are going through a "loss" (death of a loved one, friend moving away, etc.), just know that I understand how it feels. If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to talk to me. It's difficult, but hang in there.)

And I know it's been forever since I've updated this, so I deeply apologize for that. I've just been working on a few other projects. I hope you can understand.

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!)