my sweet-awful life

Goodbyes

I woke up quite early today. Even the alarm I'd set to wake me up was useless.
I guess even though you arent Keen to going to somwhere new, Well the day of departure just had to give you some thrills.

It was a normal morning with the wind blowing softly and the Sun peeping over the mountains. Nothing I've never seen before but today I appreciated it more. It felt special. Like it was a brand new day and I could be anyone I wanted to be.

I sighed as I felt the morning breeze wash over my skin and immediately I decided to take a walk. You know to say goodbye to this view of sunrise and the trees and the flowers and the houses and every other natural thing, except insects...and milipedes I hate those.

Okay I'm kidding I was going to take a walk to calm down my nerves. I was so nervous and I did not want my mom to see or she'd be worried. I don't want her to worry about me.
If there is Still escaping in this world, then I'm safe.

❤

I came back home to find nobody was up yet. It was past eight and my bus was leaving at ten so I took my time to prepare myself. Making sure to do every single aspect slowly and carefully.

When at nine o'clock I was finally done I stood at my doorway and with my hand lagguage beside me, the rest of my stuff were already at Wellington, and looked at my room, reminiscing the memories I had here. The countless time this room had been my escape from painfully awkward moments of embarrassing conversations. All the time this room had been my private hideout from this mean world while providing me with the necessary cormfort and entertainment. Where I'd laughed, cry, screamed and threw my pillows.
Where I'd dance and sang to the best of my abilities, without having to worry about being criticized.
The place where my heart and soul came together and were at peace.
I'm surely going to miss this place.
Luckily enough for me. I got a single room at WU (Wellington university)
I can create a place like this. Maybe.

At the end of it all. I've was in tears. I didn't know I was attached to my room, Atleast not this much.

"Blair. Are you done already?  The bus leaves In thirty minutes, we should get going." My dad called.

I checked the time to find it was already half past nine.

"Just a sec" I called back then looked at my bed and said.

"I'm going to miss you" I sniffed and wiped the last of my tears "bye"

Outside, everyone was already in the car. The funny part was that it was only five minutes by car to the bus station. But yet everyone was taking me there.
There were already rumours going around that my siblings and I were spoilt and if anyone knew of this or that my parents along with my siblings accompanied me to the university and did everything from registration to touring around the university with me, many more would  be convinced.
They try to give us the best life, like one they never heard and I appreciate it so much, given the rumours. My sibling and I are a lot of things, but we are definitely not spoilt.

❤

"Are you nervous?" My dad asked through I humour-less grin. The way this was going was almost like the way a conversation would go if I had to talk to a stranger.

Awkward and uncomfortable. Makes me want to run for my room.

In thier eyes it was as if I was already gone and only memories of me were left and they kept playing on their minds.

My siblings, however, where in a totally  different universe. One different from were our parents were.

"Have a safe trip big sis" Barbra said then stared enthusiastically into thin air "I can't wait to be the only girl at home"

"Yeah and I, Who is going to be the eldest child, will make your stupid only-girl-at-home-butt miserable "

"I have to wait for a long time to be the only-anything huh"

I rolled my eyes at my siblings, atleast their goodbye was far better than my parent's. It made me smile, calming down my nerves a bit.

I turned to my parents and said "goodbye mom and dad. I'm really not nervous, you guys made me acquainted to the place remember. I'll be fine"

We gave our finals hugs and I got into the bus.

I really wasn't nervous. Last week the whole family came with me to Wellington for my registration. We stayed at a nearby hotel while we handle the registration process.
My parents said they wanted to make me acquainted to the place so I wouldn't look lost. We walked around the university getting to know different places and my classes, we went to the shops,  and we slept one night in my room. All together. so I wasn't really nervous, atleast not anymore.

But now that it dawned on me that I was really going to be alone for the very first time, I couldn't suppress the excitement, even more because I'm going to have my own little crib. No sharing. No roommate drama. Just the thought of that made me feel at peace.
My own room to myself. No mom to tell me to get out of my room? Maybe this will be great afterall. And I can start thinking about myself. Get in touch with my soul.