Amelia

Sadness

     Amelia watched the last drops of water fall from the clouds as she felt them roll down her cheeks, not quite sure anymore if they were her tears or the rain. She was sick of the wind running its fingers through the tresses of her long hair, so she lay against the cold wet surface of the freshly beaten sand. She looked into the sky, and immediately the abundance of stars called out to her. The stars always amazed her, how such little of things floating in the sky could hold so much beauty and wisdom, she did not know. She looked for all the constellations that she could find as she tried to relax herself. The big dipper was an easy one to find, of course, and not far away was the little dipper as well. With every fiber of her body, she wished to be a star, for then she would be an endless beauty for all to gaze at. That was not her, though. She was merely Amelia, but to me, she is so much more. Amelia could no longer conceal the sadness inside of her, and she wished to scream. All she wanted to do was run into the sea and smash at the waves which in turn smash at the sand. She wanted to be heard, and she wanted to be found. Most of all, she wanted to be anyone else.

    "All I wish is that I was someone else," Amelia thought to herself. "Please, God, just make me into someone else. I wish the moonlight was not kissing my own porcelain skin, but someone else's instead. I wish to have the same consciousness, but in another's body. I'm sick of being me. I'm sick of disappointing myself and father. I'm mostly sick of disappointing my mother. I do not want to disappoint myself or anyone else anymore. God, please, I am begging you. I need to love me, I can not go on this way. God, please take me away from this place, take me home to mother. Take me to you, just don't leave me here anymore because I can not bare to be me for another day."
    
      Amelia began to feel the tears cascade rapidly down her face, yet this only made her more upset. Nothing ever went right in Amelia's life, she felt lonely every day and every night. She did realize that this was because of her own doing, of course, but that did not mean that things would magically change merely because she recognized that fact. All she needed was one glimpse of hope, and she knew that she would open up like a flower in springtime. All she needed was one tiny spark to light the flame inside of her. Amelia wiped away the rest of the stray tears rolling down her face and decided it was about time to head home.
     
       Amelia's home was a prison in many ways. Many years ago, an architect made the worst mistake he could ever make; he fell in love with a beautiful woman, and he wanted a family. He was head over heels in love with her, as any man is in love with a female, I suppose. He decided that he would build them the most beautiful house in the entire world. He lived his life as if he was destined to build that house, and he spent many nights thinking of all the details that had to be done. He had decided to himself that this house would represent their future family: strong, well-built, and everlasting. As soon as the idea was rooted into his brain, he set off into work. He bought all of the finest materials, fine marble for countertops, and the most beautiful red brick for example. In slightly over a year's time, the house was finished, and I do say, it was quite beautiful. The yard was built to hold extravagant parties with its built-in swimming pool and fairy lights; it's a shame this house never held any parties. He even included a room with a window seat for his pregnant wife to gaze at the stars and watch their child play from a safe distance. It's a shame no future child lived in this house. You see, he planned out every single detail. Every. Single. One. He just never planned on one detail to ever happen. You see, as he was building this house, he became engulfed. He forgot to cherish and look after his wife, and she was devastated. She spent all of her time waiting for him to come visit her, and love her, yet this never came. Instead she sat and missed him, and wished that he would just come home. She soon fell in love with another. He was a great man, and he took after taking care her from a respectable distance. When the architect finished the house, he had every intention to look after her and care for both her and her future baby, but it was too late. Her heart was no longer his to own, and she soon left him for the other man. The architect was soon forced to live in the grand house all alone, with only alcohol to accompany him. He hated that damn house with every single part of him, the walls were full of his screams, and the floor was filled with his salty tears. He soon died of a broken heart, leaving the house in the bank's possession. The bank wanted to rid of it quickly, so Amelia's father swooped it up, and here they live. Isn't it funny how the girl of tragedies lives in the house of tragedies, too? Like I said, it sure was a shame that house never held any parties.
   
     Amelia threw her creme bookbag next to the open door, and bent down to pet Charlie, her pet pug. She threw Charlie's tennis ball and watched as it bounced against the carpet and Charlie barked wildly. She sat at the kitchen counter, and she rested her head on the cold marble. She sighed deeply, and saw her father making a bowl of mac and cheese for her, which was her all time favorite food to eat when she was stressed out. He turned, and smiled his giant pearly smile at her.
 
  "Hey, Melia!" Chuck, her father, said as he scooped the mac and cheese into a giant bowl, "How was your day?"
   
       Amelia just blinked and stared blankly at her father's yellow apron. It had a weiner dog cooking hot dogs on it, oh the irony, and was covered in at least thirty stains from various sauces. Chuck was a good guy, all he wanted in life was to provide and care for Amelia like he never could for her mother. Nevermind, we're getting too far ahead. Anyways, Chuck nodded and didn't expect and answer anyways.
   
      "You're very talkative today, Melia, I like it," Chuck stated as he slid the bowl across the counter to Amelia, who ate very quickly and quietly.
   
     After eating, Amelia felt the tiredness sink in and climbed up the staircase. Amelia's room was not something you would expect, it was like being friends with a ballerina and walking into her room to find skulls and blood in every corner. Amelia's room was full of so much light, and was full of personality. Her walls were adorned with posters of her favorite bands, Oh Wonder and Nirvana, and were the color of the sky on a perfect cloudless summer day. Small fairy lights outlined the room, and in the Christmas time, they even turned red and green. In her room was the giant window seat, the one the architect built to hold his pregnant wife, not an emotional teenage girl. The seat was filled with a wide variety of books by her favorite authors, and some of them were opened and highlighted on specific pages to verify that Amelia did indeed have a deep love of reading.
   
      Charlie ran up the stairs and plumped onto Amelia's comforter as a sign he wanted to go to bed. Amelia kissed Charlie's head, and turned the main lights off, leaving the fairy lights twinkle like the stars above the ocean. Amelia climbed into bed and pulled the white comforter over her body and began to wish. She wished that somehow, in someway, her life could change. She wished that tomorrow would be so much better of a day, and Amelia fell asleep thinking about that thought she so often lusted over. Little did Amelia know that her life did have a change in store, and Amelia would soon discover what a change in her life would actually mean.