unread messages ♔ minizerk

day seventy-four (part two)

[listening to 'the only exception' by paramore and i'm hurting a little more inside]

the blond boy sat in a rigid position in the back seat of the car, thankfully alone to ponder his own mix of thoughts. he sat with his back straight, hands in lap, and looking down at the carpeted ground of his friends tesla with a clean sweep, emotionless face. he had turned off his phone, as he couldn't bare to see the previously sent messages again. he knew he couldn't fix it, and he knew he couldn't turn back time, but he didn't want another reminder that it was his fault.

despite the inability to read his face, one of the blond's housemates and closest friends checked through his front mirror, noticing the bags under his bloodshot eyes and how gaunt his face looked. he appeared as pale as a ghost, and could pass as a dead man if he tried hard enough. another close friend did the same thing, and they glanced at each other briefly in worry.

they knew that any conversation would not pick up the cold atmosphere that they were experiencing at the moment, so they simply didn't say anything and instead allowed the air to remain stiff and silent.

soon they approached their dreaded destination, and as soon as the blond felt the hum of the car underneath his feet cease, he visibly winced.

the two boys in the front exchanged another glance of worry, and the one in the passenger side cleared his throat.

"are... you going to be okay simon?" he tentatively asked, glancing at the broken boy through the mirror. "you... don't have to do this."

the blond barely shook his head, still looking at the ground with the same monotonous expression. "no jj, i have to otherwise they will. they are certain that he's not going to make it, and it would be better if it was me who pulled the plug." even he winced at his harsh words to describe the foreseen moment, it was less worse than some of the things he could have used to describe the term, but it was still not an ideal adverb.

"look, simon we're here for you." the younger of them stated with sympathy evident in his tone. "honestly, if you need-"

"i'm fine vik," the blond waved him off with a sluggish hand gesture, just one of the side effects of not sleeping for days at a time. "don't worry about me."

the blond opened up the car door, staggering out weakly from his malnourished state. he heard the two clamber out quickly in order to help him, but once agin he waved them away.

"i'm fine," he meant to say with strength, but it came out more like a dying croak than anything else.

"no you're not simon." jj stated, taking one of his skinny arms and pulling it around his broad shoulder.

vik did the same thing, though it felt rather awkward from the unbalanced heights on either side. "just let us get you there, okay simon? we know how much pain and sorrow you're experiencing because we feel it too, but you have to let us help. you're just not going to get there without us, you've been worn away to nothing."

his truthful words hurt the blond, however he knew it was just vik being honest with him. he hadn't eaten, left bed or slept for days now, and his body had taken the consequences severely. he almost seemed like bones covered in pale, unhealthy skin more than anything.

and so he let the two other boys walk him over to the entrance, grateful for the help. however, his stomach was churning and his heart was hurting more than ever. they had come to accomplish one thing; a task so to say. but it was one of the most difficult things that simon would ever do, and so far he wasn't even sure if he was going to make it to see him at all.