depression poems

10

I'm so alone.
I need someone who holds me
and takes care of me,
who's there for me
and understands me,
who won't leave me,
who loves me for who I am,
who helps me getting skinny and beautiful,
who's a reason to stay strong,
who's proud of me,
who commends me
for not eating,
who talks with me
about everything,
who laughs about shit,
who I'm not the second choice for
or the third one
or the last one
-
I wanna have a best friend
who doesn't replace me
(unless I die),
I don't wanna be alone anymore
-
You can't imagine how much I hate it,
I'm always alone,
I don't have anyone
and no one really knows me
-
But I'm such a failure
and I can't even talk to people
so why should anyone ever want me?
Why should that change
after 16 years?
I'm just never good enough,
I'm just not worth that much
-
If I was dead I'd be important,
everybody'd like or love me
and I'd be happy,
but hey, here I am crying
in my bed at 2 am
And nobody knows
and nobody cares,
Nobody will ever care
-
I'm disgusting.
Pathetic bitch.