lighter || phan au || prequel to cold

c h a p t e r // f o u r

the next time i'm trying to pretend i'm something different.

"are you waiting for someone, sir?" the waiter asks me, for the third time. i look around the restaurant, but the person i'm waiting for is nowhere to be seen.

"i was" i say. "i don't think she's coming."

"would you like to order something anyway?" the waiter asks, looking a bit less irritated with me.

"hey, stranger" says a familiar voice, and the boy it belongs to slides into the empty seat across from me. the waiter looks confused.

"i'll be back in a few minutes" he says, hurrying away.

"fancy seeing you here, dan" phil says, grinning. "i think i got stood up, thought i'd pop over and say hi!"

i start laughing. phil looks a bit nonplussed, but his grin grows slightly, like just watching me laugh is amusing him.

"i got stood up too" i explain, when i've recovered enough. "she hasn't shown yet. it's been an hour."

"she" phil says softly. he looks almost disappointed for a moment, but then it passes and i'm sure i just imagined it.

"yeah" i say, and i feel the urge to clarify, i'm not sure why. "i just met her at the club, i didn't even like her that much, i don't know what it is, i just haven't found a girl that i like yet, not that i've been trying too hard, i don't know, there's just something i can't quite find-"

"dan, you don't have to explain anything to me" phil says, looking amused but under that, relieved and something else that i can't quite pinpoint.

"sorry" i say. "i was just, i, er, i'm not upset that i got stood up is what i'm saying. you don't have to cheer me up or anything. wait, should i cheer you up? sorry."

"nah" phil says. he stands. "i met him on tinder. i didn't think he'd show anyway. but i should get home, it's late. bye, dan."

"wait" i say, but he keeps walking.

i'm not even sure if he heard me.

would he have stopped if he had.