My Cowboy with Benefits

Chapter 9

It's been two days since things went down with Luke. He's called me and he's been by here a few more times. I haven't talked to him. I honestly don't know what to say. I don't even know if there is anything I can say.

Right now I'm talking to Chelsea. We're sitting on the couch.

"Maggie, what are you gonna do about Luke? He keeps calling you and me both. He comes over here at least three times a day. You should talk to him."

"And say what, Chels? He destroyed my trust. I don't have anything to say to him. I've already told him that. Several times actually."

"I know. I just think you need to talk to him and give him closure. He won't leave you alone until you do talk to him."

"Who says he'll leave me alone then? You've seen how persistent he can be."

"Yeah. I know. Even if you're not going to talk to him, you can't avoid him forever. You'll eventually run into him in town. It's inevitable."

"I know. I just can't afford to run into him right now. The wounds are still too fresh. I can't risk my heart anymore right now."

"I understand. I just wish you weren't hurting. It kills me to see you so heartbroken. I had to pick up the pieces after Wyatt and now I have to do it again."

"I'm sorry. You're my best friend. You're one of the only people I trust at the moment."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Like you said, we're best friends. It's my job to put you back together when you fall apart. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Me either. I love you, Chelsea."

"I love you too, Maggie. As much as I'm enjoying our talk, I have to go get ready. I'm going out with Taylor tonight."

"That's fine. Go. Just because I'm stuck at home doesn't mean that you should be too. I hope you have fun."

"Okay. I'll see you later. Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay."

She heads down the hall to her room. A few minutes later I hear the shower in the hall turn on.

There's a knock on the door. I peek out the window to see who it is. I sigh in relief. It's Taylor. I open the door for him.

"Hey, Taylor."

"Hi, Magpie. How do you feel today? No lying."

"The same as usual. Come sit down."

"Okay." We both sit on the couch.

"She's in the shower. She should be out shortly."

"Okay. Thanks."

"You're welcome. How have you been?"

"I'm fine. You know Luke is going crazy without you. He keeps asking everybody about you."

"That's what Chelsea said. To be honest, I don't really care. He deserves to suffer." That's all a lie.

"Bullshit. We both know that's a damn lie. You do care and you hate that he's suffering. Just talk to him."

"I can't."

"Why? Why-"

Chelsea walks in the room. "Hey, babe. You're here early."

He stands up and walks over to her. He gives her a kiss.

"I couldn't wait any longer."

"Sorry it took so long."

"Nonsense. I had Magpie to keep my company. Isn't that right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm glad you two found something to talk about."

"Me too. You ready, babe?"

"Yeah. Bye, Maggie. It'll most likely be tomorrow before I'm home. See you then."

"Okay. See you then. Have fun."

"We will. Bye."

"Bye."

After they leave, I head up to my room. I start stuffing all my clothes into my suitcases. I put all my other belongings in my duffel bags. I can't stay here. Not with Luke coming by everyday and continuously calling me. And not with everybody else pestering me to talk to him. Even my mom has called me and tried to get me to talk to him. It was something about it not being what it looked like. I know what I saw. There's no way around that. No way to explain what was happening.

Im not staying here and I can't go to my mom's. I can't go stay with Jordan because Luke would be there all the time. I refuse to stay in a hotel. They're not very sanitary.

There's only one other place I can go. I just hope nobody figures out where I am. I've had enough of everyone worrying about me. I just have to get away for a while. It'll do us all doe good.

After I have everything packed, I load it into the backseat of my car. It took me two trips but that's okay. Exercise is good for you. I'm pretty sure I won't die from it.

I go back inside to write Chelsea a note. It's nothing that gives away where I'm going. It just tells her that I have to get away. I feel like everybody's suffocating me and pressuring me into talking to Luke. I'll come back when I feel like I've adequate time away. I also tell her that I love her.

I place the note on the coffee table. When I'm ready, I head out to my car. I climb in, but don't start it just yet. I eat my head on the steering wheel. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

After I've composed myself enough, I crank my car and start the long journey to my destination. Not that it's really that far. I'm just going to the cabin that Luke bought me. I just hope he hasn't told anyone about it or that he forgets about it. I don't want anybody to come and drag me back here.

I've been at this cabin for a week now. My phone was ringing non-stop the first day I was here. I turned it off. I couldn't hearing it ring because everybody wanted to know where I was. I just can't deal with them right now.

I still need time to myself. I haven't sorted through my feelings. I don't know what to do right now. I love Luke. I really do, but he hurt me. With Wyatt I wasn't really upset. I guess I always knew things wouldn't work out for us. I had just hoped. Luke, on the other hand, is different. He makes me feel things I've never felt before. His very touch sets my skin on fire. He made me feel alive. I've never felt better. But that was ruined.

My life will never be the same. My heart will never be the same. Luke took it the moment we ran into each other a few short months ago. I felt loved with him. Now I don't know if I'll ever feel that way again.

I really need to get ahold on my feelings. If I don't, I might go crazy. I need to do more soul searching, but I've already done so much. Maybe a little more wouldn't hurt.