Poems

Another Year

Another New Years spent alone
Another year I bemoan
I've always been alone
I could never reach that happiness goal
Christmas is a nightmare
Birthdays I spend alone
Not out of choice
But because no one shows...
Doesn't matter I'm used to being alone
It's just another year I say
But why in my heart do I feel it break
Why do I feel emotion
Why do I feel heartache
I've never had someone during these days
Why does it have too hurt
When I've never had it in the first place

I'll drown my pain in liquor
Until I forget it for the day
Then I'll have a hangover
And remember it like it never went away

Now the pain comes back at twice it's strength
So I drink and drink too push it away
Too late I realized my grave mistake
It only got worse the more I drank
It just doubles and doubles
Until I'm wasted and broken
Under a bottle all day

I found myself alone
In room with a single light
With a chair and a rope
Fighting inside
Wether it's worth having hope
It's so sudden, so quick
I find it hard to breath
Then it becomes numbing
So peaceful...
So Relaxed...
As I see the light fade
And another shine back