| ATTACK ON TITAN JOKES |

| AOTJ 148 |

WARNING: MANGA SPOILER

basically, the summary of SnK chapter 89

Hanji: "The Attack Titan"

Eren: Huh

Hanji: That's what you just did. You stared into the middle distance and said "The Attack Titan" without any prompting.

Armin: Well I guess he did do that.

Levi: Who gives a shit. He's 15. He's an edgelord. Of course he's going to stare into the middle distance and say dramatic shit.

Hanji: Also, you're free to go. Let's go see the queen.

---------------------------------------------------

Historia: Hey bitches.

Everyone: All hail the queen.

Historia: Jesus christ guys, it's still me. No need for that. Anyway, let's read Ymir' letter.

-----------------Ymir's letter------------------

Ymir: Sup Historia. Reiner's letting me write this letter, but he's reading everything I write so I figure this is a good time to mention that Reiner will never, EVER get laid.

Ymir: Anyways, sorry I left you. I don't know what came over me.

Ymir: So basically, here's my backstory. I used to be an orphan but this guy gave me the name Ymir. I started calling myself Ymir and everyone started worshiping my ass. But then some guys (read: Marley) came along and told me my ass was whack but I responded "Bitch my ass fine and also I'm a goddess" even though I wasn't.

Ymir: Not a goddess, that is. My ass fine.

Ymir: Anyways, they sent me to Paradise and made me into a titan and yadda yadda you know the rest.

Ymir: They are probably going to kill me now. It was a good life, though. I'm happy with it.

Ymir: I do have one regret, though.

Ymir: I never got to marry you.

--------------Later that day-----------------------

Zackley: Okay guys so we haven't revealed this info to the public yet. Let's go over it real quick and see if we can figure out what to do.

Hanji: So basically everyone in the world wants our asses dead.

Zackley: Well shit.

Hanji: Also, according to Eren's flashback:

---------------Eren's Flashback--------------------

Kruger: Marley kept Eldians alive to turn us into living weapons and kill the Eldians in the walls.

Kruger: Now they want to get the coordinate so they can turn the titans surroundings the walls into weapons.

Kruger: The first king will never eliminate the mindless titans because he thinks Eldians shouldn't exist. He wants to hide behind the walls and live in his version of a "paradise" where there is no war, and then let the Eldians die off one day at the hands of the titans. Honestly though I'd rather he not.

Kruger: So go be a pal and get the coordinate away from him. Then wipe out the titans on paradise so they won't destroy the world.

---------------Back to the present day---------

Zackley: So pretty much, if I'm understanding this, if a Reiss have the coordinate then we can use the power, but if a non-Reiss has the coordinate we can't use the power.

Hanji: Ya.

Eren: *Remembers he could use it when he touched the smiling titan*

Eren: *Remembers smiling titan is Dina, and therefore royalty*

Eren: *Realizes if he tells people this they might make him eat Historia to merge with royal blood and unlock the coordinate*

Eren: *Says nothing because he doesn't want Historia to die and let's be real she probably tastes terrible*

----------Back to Eren's Flashback-----------------

Kruger: Grisha, when you get to the walls, start a family

Grisha: And just betray Dina?

Kruger: Yeah boi

Kruger: You have to. Otherwise we will continue to repeat the same mistakes and the same history again and again.

Kruger: You have to do it if you want to save Mikasa and Armin.

Grisha: Who the fuck are Mikasa and Armin?

Kruger: I have no fucking clue. Why the fuck did I say that?

-------------Chapter End----------------------------

Fandom: THE ACTUAL FUCK JUST HAPPENED.

Fandom: NO REALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT MIKASA AND ARMIN WHAT THE FUCK