| ATTACK ON TITAN JOKES |

| AOTJ 187 |

Teaching their kids how to swim

EREN: [drops the kid into the water and expects them to start swimming. Your kid is not a fish, Eren. Fucking idiot]

LEVI: [at first he is literally standing by the pool, fully clothed but is forced by the kid so he stands up in the shallow end and his head just about reaches the surface. The kid? Oh fuck they're droWNING]

YMIR: [tells her kid to drink the pool water if he's thirsty. Kid is throwing up uncontrollably the next day]

ARMIN: [please don't drown please don't drown please don't drown wHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR EYES HURT?? CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE---sCREAMS]

JEAN: [you know what maybe a woman will become attracted to me for bringing you here *kid pulls down his swimwear* i cannot believe you did that]

BERTHOLDT: [he's fucking plaiting the kid's hair whilst teaching them how to swim on the edge of the pool]

ERWIN: [swims super slow so his child can beat him in a race "AW DAMNIT I LOST" *slams fists on the surface of the water* "oH NO YOU BEAT ME" you can hear the kid going "dad stop"]

SASHA: [pushes kid off diving board] yEET FLY

CONNIE: [aND HIS NAME IS *tackles kid into the water* jOHN cENA!1!1!1!!1!1!1!1!!1!1]

MIKASA: [her version of teaching her kid how to swim is dragging them through the water by their arms]

HANJI: [she's been thinking that a float was her kid the whole time. She's been talking to a fuckin float]

CHRISTA: [make sure you bring your towel so when you get out you won't be too cold *kissu*]