Never Crossed My Mind (boyxboy)

Chapter Fifteen

I had expected things to be at least a little awkward after having made out for an hour the night before, but it wasn't.

Mason and I slept in the same bed, and if the nurses saw, then they surely didn't say anything. I did get a few odd looks from the nurses, though, and one particularly sly look from Sammie.

It was okay, though, because having Mason next to me when I woke up was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

My euphoria crashed, however, when the nurses rounded us up like cattle and moved us to a room I hated almost as much as the padded room.

The visitors' room.

It didn't matter that I hadn't had a single visitor in the six years that I'd been there. It didn't matter that part of my depression was due to not having any visitors, not even my parents, though I would never admit that to anyone. I was still forced, every month, to sit in the visitors' room and endure two hours of other patients' reunions with their families after only a month and plenty of affection. Ugh.

There were a few patients that didn't have to sit and wait like I did, and then there were a few that did. Those who didn't stayed in the TV room and played cards, either having no family or having problems related to family.

Those who did, were just like me. Dropped here and abandoned by selfish bastards.

I did what I did every month and just sat, and watched, knowing that no one would ever come to see me and trying to be okay with that, but I honestly don't think I was. I couldn't even fool myself.

Mason shocked me by saying, "C'mon, dude."

I stood, and he immediately slipped his hand into mine, looking at me for reassurance. I smiled weakly in response.

His eyes brightened. "I want you to meet some people."

I followed him over to a small, round table, where two boys sat. One was overly large and tall, much too big for the foldable metal chairs. His hair was straight and brown, the same color as his eyes. The other was tall, as well, but awfully skinny, and his hair was blonde. His eyes were blue.

I wasn't really accustomed to meeting new people, especially since the last new people that I had met I had been angry at, including Mason. I cringed at the memory. Anxiety spiked my heartrate, but I managed to keep walking.

"Hey, guys," Mason greeted.

The tall blonde stood and enveloped Mason in a crushing hug, but I was happy when he didn't let go of my hand. The brunette remained sitting.

"Hey, Mason," he grinned.

Mason smiled. "Hey, Jacob."

The blonde released Mason, at last, and we all sat down.

"It's good to see you guys," Mason said, smiling.

"Good?" the blonde exclaimed. "Dude, this is great! We've all been so worried, even Mrs. Getty! Are you okay here?"

Mason grinned. "Thanks, Kenny. I've been okay. I've made some friends, I guess you could say." His eyes moved to me, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "This is Sam."

Kenny's blue eyes turned to me, as if he was just realizing I was there. "Hey, dude. I'm Kenny, and this big guy is Jacob."

"Hey," I said, smiling slightly.

Mason looked around confusedly. "Where're my parents?"

Kenny perked up. "Oh, yeah! They said to tell you they couldn't make it this time, but that they'd definitely be here next month."

Mason seemed relieved to hear that they would be coming next time. For some reason, that bothered me, and I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick.

"I'll be right back," I mumbled, standing and rushing from the room, telling the nurse on duty that I was going to the bathroom.

I stopped in the hall to breathe, suddenly feeling like I was going to have a panic attack. I took deep breaths.

Mason came out after me. "Sam," he exclaimed, "what's wrong?"

The words rushed from my mouth like vomit. "How can you be so calm about that, Mason? Your parents, they aren't here, and they say they're going to be here next time, but what if they aren't, and what if they say the same thing again next month? What if they never show up? What if they just dump you here, too? I don't want that to happen, Mason, because then you aren't going to get better, and you are going to turn into me. I'm scared that they'll never come, because my parents said the same thing when they left me here. They said they were going to be back for me. They said that I wouldn't be here for long. But it's been six years, Mason. Six years that they could have done something. They haven't visited in six goddamn years, and it's awful, because I know that I'm not the only one here that's been dumped in this hell. I--"

Mason kissed me hard, and I realized that sometime during my rant, I had started to cry.

"Shh," he hushed. He wrapped his arms around me and held on tightly. "It's okay, Sam."

"It's not okay," I hiccupped. "It's never been okay. It's never going to be okay!"

"It is, Sam. I promise, it's gonna be okay. Maybe not now, but it will be, okay?" He held me at arms length, looking me in the eyes as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Okay," I said, but I didn't believe him.

I think that he knew that, but he led me back into the visitors' room, regardless. Jacob and Kenny were talking as if I had never rushed out in the first place, but I did get a concerned look from Kenny when we sat back down.

"What was that about?" Jacob asked.

My cheeks burned but Mason chose to ignore the question, so I did, too.

Maybe it would be okay, I thought. Maybe, we can make it okay.