Never Crossed My Mind (boyxboy)

Chapter Four

I froze, cigarette in mouth.

"He's my best friend," I said in a low voice.

"Someone told me that he died, that he, uh, killed himself while you were gone."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was hoping, asking for the answer I had been denied before. "Did anyone mention how he did it?"

"They said that he hung himself," Mason said softly.

So that's how he did it, I thought morbidly.

"Did they say anything else?" I asked.

"They said something about 'across the street' and 'up the road'. I don't know what that means, though," he told me, puzzlement clear in his voice.

I flicked on the lamp beside my bed, blinking away the flashes of light that danced across my vision.

I finally got a good look at him.

He was tall-ish, with black hair that fell over his forehead and cerulean blue eyes. He was definitely bigger than me, but I wasn't big whatsoever. His skin was slightly flushed with a natural tan, flawless.

I pulled up my sleeve. Ignoring his gawking look, I raised an eyebrow at him. I pulled my finger across my wrist. "Across the street," I told him. I traced the underside of my forearm, from my wrist, to the hollow of my elbow. "Up the road,"

"Wh-what happened?" Mason breathed.

"It's rude to stare, you know?" I snapped.

"S-sorry," he stammered.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

"How-how did you get those?" he gasped.

"I haven't been outside in three years, dumbass. I had to find a way out, somehow. It just didn't work like I thought it would." I said lowly. "I tried cutting my arms, hanging myself, hiding my pills and taking them all at once. I even resorted to killing myself by severe food allergy."

Mason cocked his head. "What?"

I sighed. "I am severely allergic to chocolate, which freakin' sucks, by the way. So, I ate a shit load of it, almost died, and woke up in the hospital."

"I hated that. When I woke up in the hospital, it was the worst feeling in the world. The people at school always told me that I was never good enough, that I was a failure, I couldn't do anything right. And waking up after I tried to kill myself, I felt it all over again. I had failed. I couldn't even kill myself!"

My head swiveled around to face the door as it flew open. A smiling nurse poked her head in the room.

"Checks," she said. Her eyes narrowed as she saw us sitting up, the smile disappearing from her face as if it had been magically wiped away.

"What are you two doing up?" she asked.

I smiled sweetly. "I was just helping Mason get back to sleep, Rolanda. Sorry if we worried you."

She shot me a disbelieving look, but left, anyway.

"Why-" he began, but I cut him off before he could ask anything else.

"Just go to sleep, Mason."

I turned off the light.