Modest Beginnings - Prequel to Modest Secrets

Chapter 4

Took a wrong turn

Harry is a bundle of nervous energy, the feelings that cascade over him every time he is close to Louis leave him breathless. The waves of anxiety that burst through his chest when Louis touches him are almost enough to knock him over. He wants to kiss Louis, touch Louis and tell him how he really feels. The problem is, he doesn't know how.

Harry doesn't know what to do with these foreign feelings, he's never felt this way about anyone. Let alone another guy. His best friend, who's laughed with him and taken drunk nude swims at the beach. They've grown up together, stayed up all night confessing every dark secret and wildest dream.

Harry told Louis about his broken family and Louis about the death of his mother, they shared everything. Harry had gotten lost in his own fear of accepting his sexuality. Lost in the unease of the backlash, though in his heart he knew his sexuality shouldn't be a concern. He wondered what would happen if Louis rejected him, would his feelings be one-sided? It would break me, he realised.

So as he spoke to Niall about the show, leant against the bar and they went over lyrics for a new song he felt at ease. The music so loud it washed away the anxiety that rippled over his skin like waves of electricity.

Then a hand snaked around his waist, the voice was in his ears and in a millisecond his heart was on fire. Harry stiffened, he couldn't help the way his body reacted to Louis. Harry was so unaccustomed to these feelings, to the way his own body betrayed him when Louis was around. He was too infatuated to think straight, Louis started talking and Harry began to nervously babble.

He snatched Niall's shots, drank them down and followed after Liam.

Now, in the middle of the dance floor with music reverberating through his body and brandishing away any thoughts of Louis, he could finally unwind. He drank two more shots with Liam, had a beer in one hand and threw his head back as he danced. Katy Perry blasted over the crowd, bodies mingled together. Sweat and perfume wafted through the air, Harry closed his eyes and let the music drown out the world.

Louis's voice was in his mind, the ghost of his hand around Harry's shoulders and Harry opened his eyes. He wondered if he should stop avoiding Louis, just let the alcohol talk and if Louis denied him then at least he could lie and say he was drunk... couldn't he?

"Earth to Harry?" Liam smacked Harry's shoulder, "You on something?"

Harry scoffed, "I hate drugs, you know that."

Liam shrugged, he took his snapback off and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "What's up?"

Harry continued to dance, "Can't hear you!" He gestured to the crowd and then his ears.

Liam rolled his eyes, grabbed Harry's elbow and yanked him towards their reserved booth. Zayn was slumped over with his eyes closed, Niall and Louis weren't in the booth. The air was cool in the booth, Liam sat down and patted the red leather next to him. "Come on, Harry."

Harry sat down, grabbed a glass and filled it with ice water from the aluminium jug on the table. "What?"

"What's on your mind?" Liam asked, his voice a little husky from all the shouting.

It was significantly less loud in the booth, Harry sipped from the glass as he gathered his thoughts. "Nothing, just tired," he lied.

"Wrong," Liam shook his head. "You can't lie to me, we're brothers."

"I–"

"If you're not going to tell me the truth, I don't want to hear it!" Liam chuckled as he put a hand on Zayn's shoulder and shook him, "Isn't that right, Zaynie boy?"