Sashay | I'll Protect You

Chapter 84

Shay's POV

*2 weeks later*

Cold, lost, alone, depressed and desperate. That's all I can manage to feel right now as I lie still in my king size bed that is too big for one person. Just waking up to sun splitting through my curtains used to be a good feeling,where I'd roll over and look at my beautiful wife with a smile, the sun casting shadows on her face. But now I roll over with a smile that fades rapidly as I turn to tears when I find just and empty space and crumpled sheets. Since I got back nothing has been the same. Eventually, my family, Sasha's family and our friends were notified about Sasha's passing. Then shortly after it hit global news, pictures of me-horrible picture might I add-leaving Paris hospital on my own surfaced. Then of course the fans. They've been so supportive through it all. Most of them are just as heartbroken as her close loved ones. But the hardest person to tell was Ashton. How do you tell your three year old son that doesn't understand life fully yet and his mind is still to develope that he has lost a parent. I had to tell him as soon as I got off that lonely, very lonely plane flight home.

*Flashback*

I slowly approach the door to my house, our house. My suitcases trailing behind me, making noise as it bumps along stones and my hand shaking slightly as I push down the handle and let the door swing open.

"Mwommy!" I hear Ashton's voice as soon as I enter, followed by the sound of his tiny footsteps running and before I know it he is pouncing at me, willing for me to catch him in my arms which I do. I let my suitcase go and hold my son in my arms as he nuzzles my neck, just the way Sasha did.

"Hello baby boy" I sniffle as I rub his back. I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent tears from spilling out. It's just like Sasha told me, I'm big on happy endings. And even though Sasha and I couldn't have ours, that doesn't mean I can't make one for Ashton and I. I grab my suitcase, and Sasha's, as I start to trail them further into the house with me, my free hand still carrying Ashton, his small hands clinging onto my jacket. I stop at the living room door way and let the suitcases go as they stand on there own and my free hand come up to rub Ashton's back. I look up and see them. Ashley, Lucy and Troian. The Godesses that have been looking after our poor child. I finally put Ashton down and he looks up at me.

"Where's mwommy?" He asks. The question that I knew would make my heart shatter further. I can feel it smashing again. I bite my lip and try and keep strong face. I lean down so that I'm at level with Ashton.

"How about you go get those paintings you were telling me about on the phone, okay?" I say, rubbing his arm. Ashton nods estaticly and runs off. I look over my shoulder and watch him as I stand back up. When I turn my head around all three girls are standing, looking at me sympathetically. My lip trembles as they walk towards me, my knees feel weak, I feel tears streaming down my cheeks but I don't make a sound. My tongue runs along the edges of my top set of teeth as I try to keep my breathing steady.

"Shay" Troian whispers, almost whimpering. I squeeze my eyes shut and let the tears flow out. I feel three sets of arms surround me tightly as my head falls.

"Mwommy?" I hear Ashton's small voice. My head snaps up and I wipe my tears quickly before painting a smile on my face and turning around to look at my son. He stands there with a smile as I holds up a handful of paintings he made while we were gone.

"We'll go" Ashley whispers to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek, followed by Troian and Lucy before they head for Ashton. They each give him a small hug before leaving the house. I sit down on the couch and pat my lap as Ashton runs towards me. He holds up his arms and I lift him onto my knee.