Forever? FOREVER.

Coffee Or Clubbing?

  Coffee seems a way to think and calm the demons inside me, which were pondering inside me, since so long. Why I am not able to trust Dhruv? And simple answer I got was cause of actions. When you love someone you should be able to trust that person. Maybe I didn't trust Dhruv cause of actions, cause of past mistakes,cause I don't feel safe..maybe I am just over thinking... As I rose up from the chair , I noticed time it was about 1 pm, and I had to complete my submission and be ready for tomorrow and even convince, mom for allowing me to go to party. I took a deep breath and smiled and started completing projects.
            " Baby pull me closer, In the back seat of your rover..."I heard this song and wanted to stab someone for playing this song and screwing my sleep and then I turned and saw my phone ringing, it was my alarm. I woke up, did my morning rituals. Send a good morning message to Dhruv and asked him to meet me at 4 pm at sandwich hub. It is amazing place with best sandwiches and yes they option for sandwiches without cheese for Dhruv. Dhruv is a poor soul who can't enjoy cheese cause he is allergic to it. The day was pretty busy, I was excited to meet Dhruv. I wanted to talk so many things with Dhruv regarding this relationship and it a future.
        Miranda was my other friends who would often help me, when I was in trouble in relationship. About one day break, only person knew from my friend circles was Devansh.. I was shocked when during lunch break Miranda came and talk about one day break. I was shocked and then i smile. I was trying to cake my wounds with all those sugary syrups and fake smile antidotes.
           How can I trust Dhruv, when he is so much into making fun of me? He did this is past and even now. In past he have put whole blame on me, and everyone  blamed me for our relationship failure. I hate blames.. They broke me apart. I wasn't ready to take more blame. No, matter what I try, sometimes I won't be good for him ever. I didn't know how to deal with situations. I simply decide to fake your smile, until you look real in it.
      I meet Dhruv at 4. It was same issue arising and, there was no conclusion on fights. I took Dhruv phone to click picture of us, and as soon I had phone, I saw Facebook messages of Miranda and her chat was clear. It was Dhruv and mine rule of relationships to never clear chat. Maybe my insecurity is not mine,but his creation. I didn't wanted to be explained. I just left the place bearing my burns. When you love someone beyond a point and lies and lie is you get, you should get Vodka. Vodka have answer to all questions....