Hm, that word has been stuck to me for years now. Around about 9 years now.
I am depressed. I'm not going to say I have depression when I haven't been properly diagnosed.
But my whole life is a joke.
1) School
When I started going to pre school I didn't have any friends, then I started real school and nobody liked me in the early days of elementary school. Then I went to private school for a few years and the people I were "friends" with weren't really my friends. I found that out after I left private school and went to public. When I went in public school in 5th grade people made fun of me because they said I TALK WHITE.
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SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW DO YOU TALK WHITE???? I NEED HELP WITH UNDERSTANDING THAT. Anyways, people avoided me like the plague in 5th grade. Next came middle school. A new girl came in 6th grade and caused me living hell. She would make me cry in the middle of class. She would bully me right in front of the teachers and the teachers didn't even do anything. Eventually she left when 7th grade year was around the corner. But the other people who would bully me with her still bullied me all through out middle school.
High school came around and the bullying got worse, this boy I had class with would make me feel so low about myself and if came to the point where I was cutting myself in the beginning of freshman year. OH AND THE SAD THING IS I LATER FOUND OUT THAT THE BOY WHO BULLIED ME FRESHMAN YEAR, I AM RELATED TO HIM-- sadly. Fast forward to junior year (present), I'm still getting bullied by at least 4 people in each class. I'm constantly getting talked about.
I don't even cAuse drama. I don't start anything. I'm quiet. People like to mess with me and I let them.. I'm too scared to stick up for myself.
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Sometimes I have to sit in class with tears in my eyes because the teacher won't let me go to the bathroom. I have to sit at my desk with at least 4 people who hate me surrounding me making fun of me. The list could go on and on tbh.
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That's not even majority of it. That's just a little bit of what I have to go through. I come home everyday just... sad. I cry myself to sleep 4-5/7 days of the week. I just want to be happy. It takes literally everything out of me just to get up to get ready to go to school. I'm so weak. I CUT MYSELF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I stopped though in freshman year.
I'm just so..
Done.
Exhausted.
Hopeless.
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