Lovely || Bellamy Blake

02

I nodded slowly as I sat on the edge of the bed. I stared at her marked-up face, took a deep breath and started to dab her cut-up face with alcohol. I winced knowing if she was awake, this would hurt like hell.

"Okay, I'm done, what else do you need me to do?" I ask hoping that I was finished. I could barely look at her without almost crying.

Clarke started to cut open Eleanor's shirt, "I need you to clean these better than the ones on her face, these look weeks old if not months," she said.

I sadly nodded, I sighed and started to clean her abdomen. I couldn't help but think this was all my fault. I should have gone back in to get her. I should have gotten captured, not her. God, this is awful what they did to her. "It should've been me," I whispered to myself.

Clarke shot her head around, "Bellamy, okay stop rambling on about it, everything is in the past. No going back, just be happy that she's safe, alive and has information," she finished.

I sighed sharply and continued cleaning her wounds. Then, I lost it. "You only wanted her found so you can get information about Mount Weather, huh?" I asked quite rudely.

She stood up and turned around with her hands on her hips, "why would you think that? Maybe I do need her for information, the old Bellamy would have understood where I am coming from."

"So you're just going to hold her hostage to get information, just like the place she was running from?" I questioned in disbelief. "Huh? Is she going to be a limited number of visitors that she gets every day? God, Clarke, I will not let that happen," I scream.

"Bellamy, stop being so dramatic, it isn't like I'm going to drill a hole in her hips and get bone marrow," she scoffed.

"Oh, wow, congratulations. You found a way to distinguish between you and the Mountain Men. You won't take something away that her body needs. You should be so proud," I say monotone.

She started to stir awake. We both converted our attention to her. "Shit, I haven't stitched the stomach ones up," she mumbled as she jogs up to her side.

Her eyes slowly opened.

* * *

I shot up in my bed, gasping for air as I noticed that it was all a dream. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and put my head in my hands. I turned on the light in my tent. I got up slowly and trudged over to a chair, I sink down into the chair and quickly wipe my face with both of my hands.

I soon decided to turn over to my little shaky table, I put my hand on my aged notebook sitting in front of me. I haven't written anything since mom was floated, let alone read anything. I sighed and actually opened it to a blank page and just started to draw, that's what most of my diary was anyway. I don't know how long I sat there drawing Mount Weather and all I saw in my dream.

"Bell, what are you doing up at this hour?" I heard Octavia's raspy voice asked. I flinch at the surprise. I glanced over my shoulder and saw her rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I question continuing to draw. She was right behind me, putting her hand gently on my shoulder.

"Bell-" she sighed as she examined my drawing.

"I can't stop thinking about Eleanor and Mount Weather. I always dream about her and all the things they do to her. And if she somehow manages to escape, what if Clarke can't save her?" I ramble. "This is to the point it is pushing me to the brink of insanity, O," my voice breaks.