Amanda's Story

A Discovery

The eve of Good Friday was the last day planned for their party. The guests would travel on Saturday to their homes. After Easter Sunday, many of them would travel on to London for the start of the season.

Ellen Cressy was certainly one of these. The guests at the party had all been amiable and respectful to the lady, but Amanda had not detected any particular preference among the gentlemen. Ellen had eventually broken from her doe-like silences and conversed with more animation with a couple of the young bucks. Nevertheless, Ellen was clearly reserving herself for London and the wider field awaiting her there.

Lady Phoebe was another one who was destined for a season in London. Her father held a seat in Parliament, so she and her mother would accompany him for the upcoming spring and summer months.

Unfortunately, Mr. Devyn Watson had no plans to travel to London. He explained that his militia assignment kept him tied to the vicinity. A house party in the same county was one thing; a two-day journey and prolonged stay in London was another. The best Phoebe could hope for (she told Amanda as they packed their trunks before dinner) was that he would find occasion to write to her.

"A gentleman doesn't write an unmarried lady, not unless they have an understanding," Amanda said.

Phoebe scowled. "An understanding. What does that even mean? I understand his feelings as well as he understands mine."

Amanda shrugged. There was a fine line between talking sense and crushing her hopes. So she remained silent on the issue.

Once everything was packed except for the necessities they'd need for that night, they had Mary fix their hair and they dressed for dinner. The spread of dishes upon the table was not as lavish as Easter Sunday's would be, but neither was it the sparse fare of Lent. They had dishes dripping with cream, buns slathered in butter, hearty roasts and hens and ducks. The desserts were even more decadent and delicious, with a three-layer cakes the cook had frosted with spring flowers as the centerpiece.

As much as the dinner was appetizing, Amanda found the company more delightful. She felt a secret thrill when Tobias Watson took the seat beside her, and when he addressed her she gave him an unreserved smile.

"I am not used to such a fine dinner," he remarked as the first course was placed.

"Nor I. But even a clergyman, or clergyman's daughter, should celebrate the triumph of Easter." Amanda chewed a morsel of duck with sincere pleasure.

"We should, you are correct. I do feel a distinct air of rejoicing in today's feast."

"Oh yes, there is much to rejoice over."

"For one, you've had a wonderful week here with friends."

Amanda nodded. "It has been a week where I discovered much, as well."

Mr. Watson tipped his head and raised one brow. "What, may I ask, have you discovered?"

Amanda held her lips tightly, like she was suppressing a smile. "Fishing for the on dits of our guests here?" Amanda leaned a bit closer, dropping her voice. "I know that Sophia Haywood wished to partner Sir Studwick in croquet, but when the rain canceled the event, they found some other corner to disappear to."

Mr. Watson laughed. "Not quite the information I sought. My only curiosity lies in what you have to say."

Amanda squinted a bit, studying his face, but he maintained a reserved expression as he worked on making his roast disappear.

"Very well, I have also discovered that I am terrible at archery."

"Was that truly a discovery, or a confirmation of something already guessed?"

Amanda gave a light laugh. "That is closer to the truth. And though many of the men offered advice, I shot far short of the target."

"What else?" Mr. Watson raised his brows in question, a playful tone entering his voice.

"Well... I know I mentioned to you the greater clarity I gained in the favoritism of my good friend." She turned her head and looked purposefully at Phoebe, who was next to Devyn again. She turned back to Mr. Watson with a certain nod.

"Again, I challenge that was merely a confirmation of your suspicion. What is it you've truly discovered?" He had a teasing look, waving his fork to punctuate his question.

Amanda scowled. She cast about in her mind for something that would meet his definition of discovery.

"The pond is full of minnows."

He shook his head and kept eating.

"The tapestry hanging in the foyer was woven in the twelfth century and transported here from Italy?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"The window in my room rattles when a rainstorm passes, and if the fire isn't stoked well, the wind will blow down the chimney and howl like a banshee's wail."

He quirked his brow again. "Interesting, and a bit revealing that one has perhaps read Gothic novels a bit too frequently."

Amanda pressed her lips into a pout. "One cannot read anything too frequently."

He gave a slight shrug, then returned to his point. "But what have you discovered? What in here," he pointed at her brow with his knife, "or here," he pointed toward her breast, "has been revealed, laid bare, exposed to the light it had never seen before?"

Though his words were still light in tone, his eyes burned with a fervor and warmth that shocked Amanda. She widened her eyes as he held her stare, and when his gaze slipped to her mouth, her lips parted. A sudden flush crept up her neck and singed her cheeks.

"What say you?" he said, leaning in to close the distance between them.

Amanda dropped her gaze back to her plate, where her duck was growing cold and the rest remained untasted. Now, her appetite was for something unrelated to food—she realized she hungered for the long gazes she'd once claimed, the whispers she'd once heard. It was even stranger that she didn't mind them coming from another man, not Dabney.

She tipped her chin up, relocking Mr. Watson's gaze. "I have very recently discovered that the ugliness of jealousy can move me to do things I was not sure I was prepared to do. Then, as you put it, if I have laid bare the emotions once locked away, it can be a step to healing. Only after that release is when love can begin to fill its place."

He stilled, his eyes filling with warmth. "That, indeed, is a wonderful discovery."

Amanda felt someone's hard stare, and turned to see Devyn glaring at his brother and herself. She cleared her throat and turned to her plate. The rest of the duck and whatever else was on her plate got eaten, though the flavors didn't register. She forced the food down into her panicked stomach. Did she really just mention love to the curate of the Cressy parish? Was their quiet conversation somehow overheard, or was Devyn just the protective sort?

More importantly, what would she say to him for the rest of dinner?

Luckily the first remove occurred soon after, and the conversation turned the other direction. She spoke to Alberta Honeysett, one of the ladies she'd seldom conversed with that week, with more enthusiasm that she really felt. She asked about all her travel plans the next day, about the events of her upcoming season, the friends she hoped to visit, anything to keep her mind off her own attraction to the man on the left.

When she did glance back in his direction, he was quietly enjoying his food. His profile showed the funny bend in his long nose, though to Amanda it was a handsome feature now, not the oddity she'd once remarked on.

This was another discovery of the week—but she did not mention it to Mr. Tobias Watson.