4
After the Graham Windham kids, Cami included, have gotten back on their bus to go back to wherever they lived, (try as I might, I hadn't gotten any information from Cami about her home situation) Jazzy, Renée and I go back to our dressing room to get our stuff together.
"You're right Pippa," Jazz says. "Cami's cool. I kept forgetting she was a teenager." This is high praise coming from Jasmine, who prides herself on never having been a "teen" in the stereotypical sense.
I share what Cami had told me about her ribs with the girls, and while they agree that she was probably lying about how she got injured, neither of them seem nearly concerned enough about the actual source of her injury. Renée puts her arm around me, stopping my restless pacing and speaking in what Lin has dubbed her "mom voice."
"Just be careful, please Pip. You're going through a lot right now, don't bite off more than you can chew in trying to fix this girl."
But I've slipped away again, thinking about what happened right before the bus left.
~
I'd pulled Cami aside as the kids began to filter out. "Hey, do you have a phone?"
"Yeah?" She responds cautiously, pulling an old slide phone out of her jacket pocket.
"Can I give you my number? Maybe we could get coffee sometime? I want to hear more of your thoughts on the show!" Looking like at any moment I might yell "you've been pranked you suckaaa," Cami hands me her phone. I put my number in it and call myself. "There. Now I have yours too." When I give her back her phone she stands there for a moment and then pulls me into a massive hug.
"Thank you. For everything. Today was incredible." She speaks softly, her voice muffled by my hair. She then leaves with the group, glancing back at me quickly before she goes, and I wander back upstairs. I grab my phone, smile at the missed call, and dash off a message: "Hey! It's Pippa! Get home safe :)"
~
"Wanna come? ...Hello? Earth to Phillipa." I zone back in to see Daveed and Jasmine staring at me with concern.
"We're going to get drinks at Glasshouse. Do you want to come with us?" Daveed asks me slowly, exchanging a worried glance with Jasmine.
"What? Yeah, sure. Let me grab my jacket." Anything to stay away from my apartment, where everything reminded me of Steven.
Steven. My heart sinks as I realize I hadn't thought of him since that morning, but now the thoughts are back and full-fledged. I think back to this time last year, when we'd been dating for just a couple of months and everything was perfect. For our three month-aversary, he took me to a tiny hole-in-the wall Italian restaurant in Chelsea because I had once mentioned I regretted not traveling to Europe when I was in college. When he kissed me goodnight, he promised me we'd travel to Italy together someday. "We'll do everything together," he had promised. Well, cheers to broken promises. I shoulder my coat and leave the room, determined to have fun with my friends tonight.
Daveed, Jasmine, Anthony, Carleigh, and I take an Uber to Glasshouse Tavern, a bar fairly close to the theatre. The girls and I grab a table by the door while Anthony and Daveed go to get drinks.
"You okay Pippa?" Carleigh looks worried, her brows knitting together over her perfect winged liner.
"I'm okay. Just thinking."
"About Steven?" Jazzy always knows. I guess the look on my face is enough of an answer for her because she just sighs and rubs my back. "It'll get easier. We all hate seeing you like this." She's cut off by the boys returning, and I graciously accept the cosmo Daveed hands me.
Three drinks later, Carleigh's in the middle of her impression of the time Lin forgot all the words to My Shot in rehearsal when the door swings open, letting a blast of cold air in. I shiver and turned to see who's responsible for the chill running down my spine. What I see, however, only makes the chill worse.
It's Steven. With her. He has his hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the bar. Like he used to do with me. Jasmine sees my panic-stricken face and follows it to where they now stand by the bar. Her face hardens.
"Fuck no." She leans over and whispers something to Anthony before grabbing my arm and quickly guiding me out of the bar, cursing under her breath.
Some part of my brain recognizes that I should be furious, or sobbing, but I just feel numb. I can tell Jazzy and Daveed are talking, but I can't tell what they are saying. I just keep reliving it. Steven, in my bed with her. In the bar, where he kissed me for the first time, with her.
I guess someone had called an Uber because Jazzy gently pushes me in the back of a car, then gets in after me. We pull up at my apartment building, and Anthony takes the purse off my shoulder and unlocks the door with my keys. We get up into my apartment and when I walk in, Steven's everywhere. His scent, still on my pillow. His extra toothbrush, still in the bathroom cabinet. And something inside me breaks.
I start to sob, and Jazzy leads me over to the couch, where I put my head in my hands and continue to cry with her arms around me. Anthony is panicking.
"Oh my god. She's crying, Shit. What do we do?? Should I-"
Jasmine cuts off his rambling. "Go make her some tea." Anthony goes into the kitchen, and she shake her head, exasperated. "That boy cannot handle tears, I swear." I know she is trying to lighten the mood, and I giggle a little, then remember all the times I had come home from a hard rehearsal crying and Steven would hold me for hours. He is so deeply entrenched in every part of my life, and I worry I'll never escape him.
Jasmine continues to try to comfort me, and I can hear her voice catching as I get more and more upset. "It's okay babe. Let it all out." And I do. I cry in Jasmine's arms while she strokes my hair, and eventually drift off to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
The Uncanny Accuracy of Fate
Fanfiction... Camille Beckett and Phillipa Soo have been living only miles apart for years, though their paths have never crossed. It's amazing what a masterclass and a musical can do. Who knows, maybe it's fate!
