"I think you did the right thing. There's no point in pushing it now while she's still getting used to you. Maybe she didn't like the food and thought it would be rude to tell you!"
"No, but I think-" I attempt to interject, and I hear Jasmine chuckle. Even though I can't see her face over the phone, I know she's running her fingers through her hair, like she always does when I ramble.
"I think you're a little scared about taking care of a teenager, and you might be blowing this a little out of proportion." I sigh, knowing she's right.
"Ugh, fine. To be fair, it is scary. I'm in charge of a whole person!" Jazzy laughs again.
"Well as far as "whole people" go, I think Cami's a pretty good one."
My voice softens and I nod, then realize Jasmine can't see me. "Yeah, you're right."
Before either of us say anything else I hear cries coming from down the hall and stand up, panicked. "Jasmine, I have to go. It's Cam." I hang up without any further explanation and run down the hallway, flinging open the door to my bedroom. Cami's managed to throw all the blankets off of herself, and is curled into a ball in the corner of the bed, whimpering. As I slowly approach her I realize she's still asleep, and is whispering "No, please. Jared. Please." I sit down next to her and place my hand on her shoulder and she jerks away, crying louder.
"Please, stop, no!" I realize I need to wake her up if I have any hope of calming her down, and put both of my hands on her shoulders this time, calling her name in the hopes that my voice will break her out of her nightmare. After a couple seconds her eyes fly open, but she remains tensed up and can't seem to focus on anything in the room. I keep rubbing her back and start talking to her quietly.
"Cam, it's me, Pippa. Phillipa Soo. It's October 26th and you're in upper Manhattan at my apartment. You had a nightmare, but you're awake now. You're here with me, love."
Cami finally manages to get some of her bearings, and she looks at me with tears stuck in her eyes. "Pippa?" She finally chokes out. Now that she's more lucid, I scoop her onto my lap, holding her almost like a child while I rest my head on her light brown hair, which is tangled from her tossing and turning. She's shaking, and I brush my thumb on her cheeks to try and dry her tears.
"I'm here Cam, I'm here." She seems to be calming down now that she's awake, and I make what I'm about to realize is a giant mistake.
"You were talking in your sleep, something about...Cami, who's Jared?" Any comfort or safety that she was feeling is gone in a flash, and she wrenches herself out of my arms and starts pacing in front of the bed. She's hyperventilating now and has her hands covering her face. She's muttering to herself, and her vocalizations start to grow in volume until she's yelling.
"NO! I CAN'T NO!" I've never heard her voice more fearful, and I get up too and go right up to her, wrapping my arms around her. She starts to struggle, and keeps yelling, but I hold her firmly to me as I stroke her hair, whispering whatever comforting words I can think of into her ear. She fights hard, but I have about 3 inches and 15 pounds on her, and I keep her grounded with me, hoping she can feel my heartbeat and breathing and use them to settle her panicking mind. She stops resisting after a couple of minutes, and I feel all the fight leave her body as she becomes dead weight in my arms. I help her walk over to the bed, and we end up in the same position we were in just a little while ago. I think for a minute before I speak this time, careful to avoid anything that could trigger her.
"Cam, I'm so sorry. I never want to ask you or make you do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable or anxious at all. I want you to feel safe here, with me."
"I do." She leans further into me. "It's just-it's stupid. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You're perfect, and all of your feelings are valid." I kiss the top of her head gently. "You wanna break something? Offer still stands."
"I think I'm good, thanks though." She forces a smile.
"Okay, okay. It's late, you should go back to sleep." She grabs a fistful of my tee shirt.
"Will you stay?"
"Of course." That's how we fall asleep. Cami wrapped up tight in my arms, me desperately trying to hold her close enough to rid her of all the trauma she's been through.
YOU ARE READING
The Uncanny Accuracy of Fate
Hayran Kurgu... Camille Beckett and Phillipa Soo have been living only miles apart for years, though their paths have never crossed. It's amazing what a masterclass and a musical can do. Who knows, maybe it's fate!
