Wasted || Adam Lambert (BoyxBoy)

chapter seven

(Adam)

I woke in a place that i found very familiar lately.

I looked around to see the sickening views of the hospital, also known as the most unhappy place on earth.

I looked slowly to my side to see Tommy, laying next to me on my hospital bed. I reached over with my hand, looking at the drip attached to my vein.

I softly caressed his back with my fingertips as he was faced away from me, and i smiled when he began to turn over. I smiled sleepily at him, and all he did was look at me blankly, suddenly busting into tears.

"Tommy, it's okay." He cried historically, putting his hand to my cheek and looking into my eyes like he never wanted to lose me. I closed mine and felt the guilt come to me. "It's not okay," He claimed.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He asked calmly, but i knew inside he was nothing like that. "Tommy I-"

"You know what? Don't even answer." He said semi angrily, but still wanting me to hold him. When i was taking those pills my stupidity was obviously all to be shown. I knew that i was now hurting him.

"It was so stupid. I'm so sorry baby.. I would never want to leave you. I don't want to die." I told him, looking down into his red eyes. He snuggled down again, just wanting to be near me. I pulled the blankets over us both and held him as close as i could. "I thought you were going to die."

"I'm so sorry Tommy. You have no id-"

"I had to sit on the floor, holding your lifeless body while the ambulance got to our house," He said blankly. "I stuck my fingers down your throat, trying to make you wake up. You didn't wake up. I thought you were dead, Adam." He sobbed again and i kissed the top of his head, resting my arms around him. I wasn't going to let him go.

"Baby, i love you, so much. I promise that i didn't mean to put you through that. I am so sorry." I told him, tilting his chin upwards. He pulled himself up, sitting on the bed and playing with my hair.

"I'm here now baby. Come here." I held out my arms as he clutched my shoulders, resting his head on my chest. I hushed him from crying and tried to calm his body. "I love you Adam, I love you so much."

"I love you more baby."

After that i had several doctors come into the hospital room, telling me that i was out for almost a day. They pumped my stomach and filled me with things that would help to ease what i had done to myself.

I was such an idiot, to think that i put Tommy through that. I hated myself for doing that.

*

It had been two days since i left the hospital, and i was just taking it easy. My face still hadn't restored its colour and i looked lifeless.

Suddenly i heard the doorbell ring, and Tommy got up to get it. "Are you expecting anyone?" I asked him. He turned before opening the door. "Yes. Your parents." My eyes widened and i got up to greet them when Tommy said hello.

Tommy had met them before, five years ago. They loved him so much as a person, and they saw that he brought out the best in me when we dated, so they were going to be thrilled when the news was spilled.

"Well don't you look gorgeous." My mother complimented Tommy, and i smiled, putting my hand on his lower back. He smiled up at me and i kissed his cheek. "So do you!" Tommy said back, hugging both of my parents.

I felt like an outlier. Like my parents and Tommy were worried about me, trying to help me. I knew that they just wanted the best, but i couldn't believe that i was so idiotic. "Adam. How are you feeling?"

"Better." I answered my mother, who looked at me, disappointed. It broke my heart as i leant in to hug her tight. "How are you dad?" I asked. He nodded slowly. "I'm okay. But that's not what we're here for today." I frowned, looking down at Tommy who moved everybody to the living room.

I sat down on the couch with Tommy, his hand on my thigh as my parents took the couch across from us.

"Tommy?" I questioned him. He looked down and breathed. "Adam, we're here to help you." He said softly. I frowned.

"What are you doing here?" I looked up at my parents, questioning them nicely. I didn't want to be rude. "We're worried about you Adam. You need help." I shook my head.

"Tommy why wouldn't you tell me ab-"

"It's not his fault. We just want to talk about what happens next."

"And what would that be?" I asked again. I kept my hands together in my lap before Tommy took one in his. "We want you to see a psychiatrist. If that doesn't help you, we want you to go to rehab."

"Rehab?" I asked. "For what? I've been better."

"You just relapsed. You tried to kill yourself."

"Mom i didn't try to kill myself! How many times do i have to explain that? I already have anti depressants i don't need to see anyone!" I told said to everyone, looking to Tommy at the end. He let his head fall limp.

"Adam, you need to see someone. I'm not risking it." He said to me. I closed my mouth and nodded, knowing that if i didn't do this, i might lose him. I couldn't have that happen. "Okay. But i promise, i won't need rehab."

"Prove that to us, Adam," My mother exclaimed. "Go to see someone, and stay clean. From everything, this time." I looked at Tommy who had obviously told my parents everything that happened. I nodded.

"We want you to have psychiatry sessions with Tommy as well. He is the one that you need to be honest with. All the time."

"I'm happy to do that. You guys just need to have trust in me." My mother shook her head. "I'm sorry Adam, but right now my trust for you is pretty low."

"Mom.." I said quietly, feeling so horrible that my parents thought so little of me. I rubbed my temples and felt so stupid. "I just want you to be healthy. I want to know that you're safe. You're still my baby, Adam. No matter how old you are."

I smiled and felt tears come to my eyes in what i had become. Tommy wrapped his arms around me and i smiled into his eyes, never wanting him to leave. I couldn't have him leave.

"I love you guys. You mean so much to me, and all i want to do is make you happy." I said to my parents, coming around and hugging them both at the same time. I looked back to see Tommy watching me blissfully.

"Come here." My mother said to him, and we all just hugged for a good minute, embracing each other. It was so nice. "We will get through this, Adam. It will happen."