Royal (A Selection Fan Fiction) (Book One in my Selection Series)

Chapter 18

"He told you didn't he?" Addy asks me while we are laying on the floor looking at the ceiling.

"What?"

"He told you about me didn't he?" Addy asks again. My mouth made an 'o' shape and I realized I couldn't hide it.

"How'd you know?" I ask.

"You look at me different now." She sighs. "There's two looks you get either the ones that look at you like you are no longer innocent and your dirty and there are the pitiful ones."

"Which one do you see in me?" I didn't mean to look at her different.

"Neither." She decides. "It's just different."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look at you that way." I say.

"It's fine. They all do it." She shrugs. "I guess I trusted Alex with my secret, but I want him to trust you too."

I smile over at her and sit up.

"Here let's take a break. I can get my maids to bring up tea if you like." I ask and sit on my bed. She nods and crawls up beside of me.

It's like she has a coat she wears when she needs it. When she's in the public. But when you get her alone she's actually a person under there. Believe it or not.

"The screams you heard." I said. "They were from that night?"

She nods a little. "But they weren't only other people's. I remember my own and I remember what the guy told me."

I'd never thought about people ever remembering their own scream or even knowing what it sounded like. I only could recall everyone else's.

"I didn't know what he did for a while actually. He said he was going to take something I'd never get back." I think she was shaking beside of me so I just pulled her closer to me.

"You shouldn't know anything about any of that yet." I whisper.

"Are you a virgin still Char?" I just nod but I'm not sure if she saw me. "It hurts. I never want to do that again. Never. Not even if I love that person so much I just couldn't."

"If they really loved you, they'd never make you do anything you didn't want. I promise. That's how you know if someone really loves you." I tell her. I keep thinking about how the man said I could never say no to Alex.

"Do you think you love Alex like that?" Addy whispers. I know she's trying to hold everything in and I know my relationship with him makes her happy. 

"I think maybe I could. I've just got to get to know him better." I shrug.

Addy laughs and grips my arm. "He won't talk about the Selection with me really. He's so locked away sometimes but he's there when I need him it's just– not when I want him."

"Being a prince is hard. Especially when you know the crown is going to fall on you. Maybe you'll catch it but maybe you won't." I say.

"I would never want to be queen. But I know my parents will marry me off. But by the time in old enough." She sighs. "It'll be Alex sending me off."

"Maybe he won't." I try and tell her.

"I think he will." She says. "Then I'll have to be a queen of another place. I don't know what the people there will make me do."

She shivers at the thought and I'm sure mine is just as visible as hers.

"If I ever become queen I'll make sure he never sends you off." I promise. "If you want you could have your own selection and stay in the palace your entire life."

Addy giggles a little but I can tell she is on the verge of crying still.

"I just don't want to be the property of someone like that. I don't care how young I am I know how it works. They'll be able to do whatever they want with me. They can do exactly what that guy did except he couldn't get in trouble." Her voice was soft like maybe the world would fall in on her if she were too loud.

"Nobody will make you do anything, Addy I promise." I say pulling her even closer so she's grilling my bicep and her head is on my shoulder.

This won't go into all the nasty stuff but nah be sorta emotional.

"He pushed me into the room like I was just a rag doll. He– he started touching me and I didn't know why. I was crying and saying that we needed to be quiet because the rebels would hear us." She trails off. "He kept touching me and he started ripping at my dress.

"That's when I figured out he was a revel too. He started telling me things he would do to me, but he was fast. He knew people would be there soon." She started crying almost before she'd even started but now she'd let it all out.

"It's okay." I say putting my chin on her head. "Your safe here nobody will hurt you."

But would they?

•••

"She was just talking about everything." I say shrugging.

"What do you mean." Alex asks. I balance on the rocks framing the flowers in the garden.

"About the night everything happened. She figured out you told me so we just talked. Nothing different from what she's told you before. Im sure you've heard it all."

Alex shakes his head walking beside me making sure I don't fall.

"She has never told anyone anything. She's locked away in a way." Alex says.

"She thinks the same of you." I mutter.

"What?" Alex asks his eyes snapping toward me.

"Nothing." I claim. "Well I mean if I were in her position I wouldn't go to my parents. It's too weird. I would probably just go to Jason because we've grown up struggling together. Sometimes it might be hard to trust someone when you've never had to fall on them."

"It isn't like she's ever had to fall on you." Alex says sort of defensively.

"I don't know Alex. She obviously just trusts me. Maybe it's the fact I'll either be going home in the next few months or I'll be her older sister." I stop for a minute. "You may not understand this but there are things you will only tell your older brother but there are things you only can tell your sister."

"Is there even a chance you'd tell me any of it?" Alex asks.

"She trusted me. There isn't a chance." I say. "What did I come here for anyway?"

"I wanted to apologize." He sighs. "I don't see a lot of people that come from outside the palace. Everything is new to me."

"Look you already have. It's fine." I say stopping to look at him.

"No it really isn't." Alex shakes his head. "That was sort of rude and I want you to be able to trust me."

"I don't really trust people. You've got to get used to that." I say with a small shrug.

"Charlie." Alex sighs. "You are one of most difficult Selected I've ever seen. All the others are so eager to tell me everything. Maybe it's because they want me to pity them or give them attention but your so shut off."

"You know, that night wasn't the only thing I discussed with Adeline." I retort. "so I could say the same for yourself."

Alex seemed completely surprised.

"I'm still up for the library tonight if you are." I say. He nods and I just walk away.