Destined Part I

Resolution

I needed a minute to think, to break free from his spell.

For weeks I had been fighting the sorrow within me, sorrow caused by Haiden. I couldn’t let myself forget that. My heart wasn’t mended, not even close, and suddenly he expected me to just accept what he was saying to me now? I wanted to believe him; everything inside of me ached terribly to believe him. But the gash he had left in my heart was a constant reminder of what happened the last time I put my faith into him.

The couples in the room were still spinning around, lost in the song but Haiden and I now stood completely still, our bodies pressed together. The other dancers drifted around us with the music, like time had stopped only for us. Everyone else was just a dreamy blur of lights, shadows and sounds.

As we stood there silently, hearing every voice as it twirled and turned around us, I pulled back from him, gesturing for him to follow me. He obliged, reaching down to hold my hand as we walked casually out to the veranda through the crowd of people gathered in front of the doors.

The lights I had put up outside sparkled, imitating the moon, and leading the way, I caught the spicy scent of the spruce trees as we stepped onto the terrace. I took a seat on the edge of the stone railing, dangling my feet off of the wall nervously. The night was clear, and the northern stars  were blinking brightly as the chilly wind brushed lightly against my cheeks. Haiden sat down beside me, shifting so he would be facing me. He grasped both of my hands in his.

“Adia, before you speak, I need to say something.”

I looked down at my tiny hands inside of his, waiting. If he had more to say, I would let him. It would be a while before I could untangle my mind enough to actually say something intelligent anyway.

“I have felt everything,” he explained, desperate now.

“I sensed every emotion I put you through. The agony I caused you was never a secret. From the moment we arrived here to Alaska, and we stood by the lake, I knew what was going on inside you. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t fighting the same battle.”

He was looking down at our hands as well, which were wrapped together tightly. I could be wrong, but I could have sworn I saw the light reflect in the tears in his eyes.

“I’ve been so caught up in you,” he continued, breathlessly. “You absolutely enchant me. I have felt it all along, and it never faded.”

I enchanted him. Here I was thinking it was him that enchanted me, with his black hair and beautiful face. His perfect, beautiful face. Even his eyes mesmerized me. I always thought he knew that. I never imagined that all along it was me that had this effect on him.

He lifted my face to meet his. And his eyes became firm, no longer wistful.

“But I was so sure I would hurt you. Positive that there was no way I could be good enough for you. You are so beautiful, Adia, inside and out. You give everyone your entire soul and you expect nothing in return. It is impossible for me to live up to that, to you. I just couldn’t stand it if I was the reason you ended up hurt.”

He sucked in a deep breath and looked back down, searching for his words in the stone beneath our feet.

“I know that our souls are connected, Adia, I am sure of it. I know you were made for me. I could feel that from the moment I came upon you in the woods. It was as if I was only living, simply waiting for that moment when I found you.”

He kept his face down, but I could see he was incredibly ashamed.

“So I pushed you away,” he continued, his voice jagged. “Thinking it was for your own good. Sensing all along what I had done to you. I could always feel inside of you, more powerfully than anyone before. It was so strong that your pain eventually became my own. I experienced your suffering, and it was just too much for me to handle. Each time the wave tried to take you under, Adia, I was drowning right along with you.”