Short Stories

Castle Walls (Niall Centric)

T R I G G E R W A R N I NG

This just came into my mind, here you guys go, I wanted to do story on this but I don't know... Just read it and see what you thing.

Again, trigger warning.

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Everyone thinks that I have it all.

But it's so empty living behind these castle walls.

These castle walls.

If I should tumble. If I should fall...

Will anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls.

There's no one hear at all.

Behind these castle walls.

I'm living the life of fame, but the truth is I'm stuck in this horrible hole, this hole that is so dark and lonely that I truly can't get out of.
Or as most people call it, stuck in the closet.

My name is Niall Horan, and yes I am gay and hiding it.
But I guess you could say I'm breaking, dying inside would more describe it.
I can't tell my parents, we're Christian's... They'll think I'm a disgrace to god.
And my band mates... Well, all the times they've given me playful kisses, tackled me and tickled me on stage. Touched me and have been around me thinking that I was just being a best mate to them.
But I truly love them. And they'll be disgusted with me. Kick me out of the band, destroy my reputation.

I look at the note that I have in my hands, my hand shaking harshly just starring at it. The thing I wrote, that I have been keeping it safe and out of the naked eye for a while now.
My suicide note.

Closest's are dark, lonely, scary and filled with secrets. I'm sorry.

I let the tears fall, holding the note close to my chest and letting out a harsh sob.
Should I just kill myself?
They wouldn't care, I'm just a gay boy... Who would want a boy loving them if they were the same gender?
I don't deserve anyone in my life.

I breath out a shaky breath and set the paper down, taking one of my razors and cutting another thick strip across my left wrist, then on my right.
Getting up and not carrying about the blood streaming down my fingers and dripping onto the tiled floor.
I glare at the horrific figure, the all fat and ugliness. I'm truly a monster.
How sick is it to love my own band mates?!
To love my brothers?!
To be on tours with them for the past three years and fucking falling in love with them!
I'm a sick bastard.
Going against my own Christianity and being gay.
A true monster.
Losing weight, cutting, suicidal thoughts. That's not a crime if people want you to die. So, I feel good doing that.
But why don't a just kill myself?
What is holding me back?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N:

I seriously have no idea why but this just popped into my head while listening to a song called "castle walls" and yeah, I just wrote something down and now I have it on here!

It probably won't be a story, might be getting a Part 2 only if you guys want it...

(I'll start writing the Raped!Niall short story by the way)

~ Direction_Minx ~