Marks || YM

chapter 10: Jungkook

In the past few months, Jungkook has gotten to know Taehyung and the young boy found himself smiling more than he had in the past few years. Taehyung just, he was just astounding. The way he looked at life with such wonder and joy truly shocked Jungkook.

How could someone with such a tragic background be so happy and carefree? How did he not dwell on the sadness in life? How did he not think about how he would never be able to have a soul mate every second of the day?

Before Taehyung, it felt like all he ever thought about was his dead soul mate, Yugyeom.

All he ever thought about was their time together. About the things, he missed about him. About all the times he made Jungkook laugh. About his eyes and his lips and his hands.

All he ever thought about was Yugyeom.

Now his past lover only ever seemed to invade his thoughts at night, when all he would do is look at the words left on Jungkook's arm.

The last words Yugyeom ever wrote.

A painful reminder he doesn't have the most precious thing in his life anymore.

But now, he thought of Taehyung.

He thought about how his eyes sparkle when he talks about something he loved. About the rectangular smile that had to have been the most infectious thing he's ever encountered. About how the boy seemed to be happy 24/7. About how he would look serious one second then would make the stupidest fucking face you've ever seen the next.

Every time he talked to Taehyung his worries seemed to melt away. He was able to smile without feeling like it was a massive lie.

It was nice.

Taehyung was nice.

Now, he's known Taehyung for almost 5 months. Today they are meeting up and hanging out at Taehyung's apartment. Jimin was still currently living with Yoongi so they would be able to be as loud as they want as they watched anime and ate popcorn.

It was unusually warm the small apartment, Taehyung likes it cold for some reason. He takes off his jacket and throws it on the couch.

Jungkook takes a seat next to Taehyung and the boy lays down to where his head is on Jungkook's lap.

It's nice, it reminds Jungkook of better times. Times where he didn't have to worry.

He feels a hand around his forearm and looks down to see Taehyung looking at the words on his arm.

"Jungkook, what's this?" He runs his fingers across the words that are written in Yugyeom handwriting.

Jungkook sighs sadly, he hates talking about this, "Taehyung, I don't know if you know this, but when a soul mate dies, the last thing they wrote on to their other half stays there forever."

Taehyung nods and asks, "If you don't mind talking about it, what was this from?"

Jungkook remembers waking up and seeing the words, he wished he had never woken up that day.

"He- he went out to get something and didn't want to wake me up, so he wrote this," the words were 'I needed to get something from the store and didn't want to wake you, sorry kookie. I shouldn't be long, I love you. can't wait to see your beautiful face again' "He never came back, he was killed on the way home."

Taehyung nods his head sadly then eyes the Jagged lines around the words. He traces them out with a finger, "A-and what are these?" He sounded like he was afraid of the answer to the question.

Jungkook let out a shaky sigh, "It's really hard to wake up and look at the words from your dead lover every day for a month." He remembered that day. He had tried so hard not to look at the words ever since it happened but that day, "One day, one of my sleeves had rolled up just enough for me to see some if the words. I-it hurt, so much," his voice cracked, "to see words from a nonexistent soul mate. I went into the kitchen, my mom was out that day, she thought I was asleep, I got a knife and I tried to cut it away. I remember the pain but it was nothing compared to what I was already feeling. When my mom came home she found me covered in my own blood, crying my eyes out. She took me to the hospital and they made sure I wasn't going to die. For the nest few months, I didn't have to see the words but I also had to go to therapy. I hated it then but I realize that if I didn't go I probably would've killed myself," Jungkook felt Taehyung tense and heard his breath catch. He quickly adds, "I'm all better now but back then I didn't see any point in living. But anyways, a few months later when the bandages were removed my skin still had the words. In that moment, I didn't know what to feel. I felt like I was never going to be happy, but then I realized, I was never going to be happy if I didn't at least try to help myself. I stopped fighting my mom on going to therapy. I started putting a cloth over my arm so during the day I did have to see the words. I would take it off on the nights where I missed him. I would look at the words and trace them with my fingertips while I cried. It hurt but it got better." He takes another shaky breath, honestly, he doesn't even know how he isn't crying yet. He feels Taehyung hand hold his, "I think about him every day, some more than others. On bad days I can't get him out if my head. One time I thought I saw him," Jungkook laughs bitterly, "I ended up in my car driving after the person I thought it was sobbing my eyes out. I knew it wasn't him but, I just needed to make sure." A tear slips down his face, "b-but it's not as bad anymore. I have friends. I have Jimin and Yoongi. I have you."

Taehyung sits up and hugs Jungkook tightly, "You'll always have me ok Jungkook? I'll never leave you. I-I fucking promise."

Jungkook holds onto Taehyung like his life depended on it. He doesn't know why but Taehyung is the first person in a very long time that Jungkook feels like he wouldn't be able to live without. There was something about him that made him feel alive and he never wanted to let it go.

He never wanted to let Taehyung go.