Dear diary, which twin am i falling for.. (WATTY AWARDS)

Chapter Sixteen..

ASHLEYS POV 

I stared back at myself in the mirror whist I ran over my face with cold water. There was no other way to describe what I looked like apart from looking a mess.

All I saw staring back was a wimp. A girl that let other people take advantage of her, but not only that I stared at my big brown eyes that we're still red from crying over him again. All I saw in them was sadness, this wasn't the happy girl I used to be. The girl that I miss.

This was my last year at high school and I didn't want to fill it with those three words.. shoulda, coulda, woulda. The three painful words that make up regret. I didn't want my high school memories to be filled with 'what if's.'

Monday, the day I decided for a change.

I sighed when I heard the bell ring bringing me back to the painfull reality. I took one last look at myself and smiled. I looked happy. 

 I kept thinking over what Matthew had been like, it wasn't him at all! He never spoke to me in school. He's probably still half drunk from last night i pressumed.

I braced myself before walking out of the school toilet's and out in to the crowds of people staring at my red puffy eyes. 

 Suddenly the slight boost of confidence i had built up was gone. 
'Whats up Ashley? No one to talk to? Maybe cause no one cares..' the corridoor filled with laughs and high pitched giggles. 
Why was everyone so mean to me? What had i even done to deserve being treat like this? I was used to it by now, id just never known why.

I gripped my books closer to my chest, turned round and hurried back out of the school doors. As i was doing so, some girl stuck her leg out and caused me to trip. I hit the floor and gathered up my things, tears rolling down my cheeks. 

I was finally on the bus home after waiting 23 minutes, i just wanted to go in to my room and curl up in a ball forever. But something stopped me. 
The bus was pulling up at the bottom of Matthews street and i could see his bedroom window had been left open. Should i go close it? Or shall i be as much of a dick as he has been lately and let someone climb through his window and attack him? Well if not someone, at least a spider.

I decided to be the annoyingly nice person i am and get off the bus two stops early so i could go in and close Matthews bedroom window. I have a key for his house and he has one for mine too, thats just how close we are. Or.. were. 

Walking up the path way i could hear music playing from the house. That boy always forgets to turn his radio off. 
 I stepped in to the house, not even needing my key. It was already open. 
'Hello?!' i called out but no reply. 
'Maaaaaaatthew?!' - nothing. 

I wearily stepped on to the stairs and lead myself up, hoping he had just left his music on and not that anyone else was in here. I peered my head around the doorframe to his room and sure enough he was layed there, with his headphones in, full blast. 

He jumped as he noticed me standing there and threw his headphones across the room in shock! 
'Woah woah woah, Ashley? What the?'
'Oh hey, i just saw your window open and i, i just wanted to make sure no one got in..'
'Well how did you know i wasnt in?'
'Cause you.. Hey! How did you get home?'

A puzzled look appeared on his face as his half sat up, scrunching his features at me.

'Home from where, exactly?'
'Erm, i dont know? School?'

He paused and stared at me for a while.

'Ohh! Right, school. Yeah, urm. I wasnt well, Jake brought me home pretty much as soon as i got there.'
I let out a patronizing giggle.