Can't go back

15

Warnings: slight smut, swearing, abuse, you're probably not going to like me for this chapter, I don't like me for this chapter, but it was in my head so I had to write it, I apologize ahead of time

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"John, are you alright? Your face looks a little red, here let me look."

"I’m fine Sherlock," I said, shrugging off his help. I looked over to where my dad had left. "How’d you get him to leave?" I asked, amazed.

"I simply reminded him that your mother was waiting for him."

I rolled my eyes. There was no way in hell that that had been all Sherlock said, but whatever he said had worked. "I could bloody kiss you right now, you know that?"

"I’d be very okay with that." I smiled and leaned forward to give Sherlock a quick kiss on the lips before turning to walk away. "What, that’s all I get?" Sherlock asked in a joking tone, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to him, then grabbing my hips and pressing flush against me as he kissed him lightly.

Sherlock backed me up until my back hit the rough bark of the tree before pressing his lips more hungrily. I kissed back, relishing the taste of his mouth. One hand went up to tangle in those midnight curls, tugging him closer if that was even possible. His tongue met against mine and I let my eyes flutter closed, relishing the feel and taste and all the sensations all at once. The hand that wasn’t in Sherlock’s hair latched onto his waist.

"I quite like you in this uniform," Sherlock whispered when I parted to breathe. "You, running around all sweaty, it’s rather hot." He slid his hands under my jersey, fingers running across my skin. Sherlock ground his hips against mine. "You were jealous this morning, weren’t you?"

I tried to move past the fact that he was pressed against me and latch onto some conscious thought. "You were rather sweet to that girl. Kissed her hand and everything. Was that really necessary?"

He smirked. "So you were jealous," he murmured, bending down to kiss me more.

"Course I was jealous," I breathed against his lips. "You’re mine." Sherlock hummed against my mouth, though I wasn’t sure if it was in agreement to my words or the fact I had slipped my hands under his shirt to touch as much skin as I could. I ground my hips back against him as Sherlock slid his hand down my chest. It slipped between my jeans and pants, and I let out a gasp. If I wasn’t hard before, I certainly was now.

"Sherlock," I tried to say, but it came out more needy than I meant it to. I took a deep breath and tried again. "Sherlock, stop."

His hand stilled immediately though he left it where it was and he moved his face away from mine so he could study me carefully. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, definitely not," I said, finding it very hard to focus with his hand there. "But you better as hell want this, because I swear to god if you stick your hand down my pants and then tell me no I’m probably going to punch you in the face. So tell me now."

Sherlock hesitantly pulled his hand out and set it back in its place on my hip. I sighed, half of me wishing he would continue and the other half glad he had stopped before he rushed into things he wasn’t sure about. Sherlock hooked a finger under my chin and tilted my face up to meet his eyes. I glanced away, nervous of how we proceed from here, feeling a little rejected even though I had insisted it was okay. I didn’t want this to make things awkward between us. "Look at me John. I am not an imbecile. I know exactly what I was doing. I have been thinking about this for a while, and would very much like to continue and at least try this once if you don’t mind. May I?"

Something along the lines of, "Oh god yes," slipped out of my mouth as I smashed my lips back against his. I cupped the back of Sherlock’s head as my tongue invaded his mouth. After a long minute of kissing I parted, bringing my mouth instead to lick and nip and suck a mark on his neck while Sherlock slowly brought his hand lower and lower, slipping it under my jeans and into my pants to give me a few strokes. I arched forward into him and his touch without any real control.