Can't go back

9

A knock on the door broke me from my daze. I jumped up as fast I possibly could and ran to open the door. Sherlock. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he stormed out, but I needed to tell him everything. That I was sorry. That he wasn’t a freak. That I felt the same. I reached for the door and closed my eyes, taking deep breath to prepare myself. I opened my eyes back up as I opened the door for him. "Sherlock, I-"

I blinked a couple times in surprise when I realized it was not Sherlock at the door, but Mary. "Oh." I couldn’t help myself from sounding a little disappointed.

"Not who you expected?" she joked with a smile, but when I didn’t respond it fell off her face. "You didn’t talk much at diner. Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," I replied tersely. "Have you seen Sherlock?"

"Your freak of a roommate? No, haven’t seen him anywhere. Why?"

"He’s not a freak!" I retorted quickly, even more defensive because of everything I had said earlier. "You should be nice to him! He helped you get your stuff back after all!"

Mary held up her hands defensively. "Sorry! Didn’t know you two were that close."

I turned away from her to shrug my jacket on, intent on finding Sherlock. As I did so I noticed the blue fabric sitting on Sherlock’s dresser and the black coat next to it. I stared at the scarf for a minute before pocketing it and draping the coat over my arm.

When I turned to leave I was surprised to see Mary still standing in the doorway. "You’re still here?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Is there a problem with that?" She sounded a little hurt, and I instantly regretted my harshness. Still, I didn’t have time for this now. Sherlock was more important. If I was being honest with myself, Sherlock had always been more important.

"Not at all. You’re welcome to stay if you don’t mind being alone." I brushed past Mary and out the door, starting down the stairs. The sound of loud footsteps behind me and I looked back. Mary was following me, closer than I would’ve expected.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Sherlock."

She pursed her lips. "Fine. I’m coming with." I gave her a sideways look. Great. This was going to go well. Either I let her know that I might possibly be gay and most definitely have feelings for Sherlock, and through her the whole school knows, or I make things worse with Sherlock by basically saying "hey, you kissed me, but I have a girlfriend" and basically rubbing that all in his face even though the truth is hes more important. "What happened anyway?"

"I-" I hesitated. I couldnt exactly tell Mary that Sherlock had snogged me and ran out! "I yelled at him, said some rude things, he yelled back and stormed out."

"Well, Freak's definitely had worse." My teeth clenched and my hand balled into a fist. With everything that happened, this was just the last straw for me and I snapped.

"Sherlock! His name is Sherlock! Not freak or whatever else you asses call him! Why are you even helping if you hate him so much?"

"If you don’t want me to come-" Mary was yelling now. We both were.

"No, I don’t! Not if you’re going to act like this!"

"Fine, if you don’t want me! If I had known you were this rude I wouldn't have asked you out!" She stormed out ahead of me, taking the stairs two at a time. I glared at her back.

"Fine with me!" I called after her. I stared after her for a few minutes. I felt a little bad for yelling at her like that, but I didn’t regret it. Not really. Is that bad? Probably...