Grieving (solangelo au)

Cringe

Will pov

I couldn't get the look that was in Nicos eyes out of my head.
It had started with a normal kiss, I thought as I sat in my car in Nicos driveway.
A normal kiss that was moved to the bed.
When I tripped over the blanket and he crawled over me, I could see the hunger in his eyes, pure love. I tried to do more, be enough, but I couldn't.
I was, to be completely honest, scared.
I have zero clue how any of that works with a guy, and Nico seems so sure and confident and could easily over power me.
Don't get me wrong, I love Nico and i's small kissing sessions, but he gets really into it without realizing, and I'm not ready, like, at all.
It's obvious I'm not Nico's first boyfriend, or maybe not boyfriend, but I was defiantly not his first kiss, and he has probably gone farther with someone he hardly knew.
I shook that image out of my head and started the car and started home.
I know I shouldn't of just left like that, but I was, how do I put it? Clueless. I panicked.

I got home and entered the house. My mom was home along with my brother and sister as my dad said we shouldn't hang around Riley all the time cause there was no telling when she would wake up.
My mom is pretty good at covering up her sadness, so I wasn't surprised to see her in the dining room reading a magazine with a blank face.

She looked up as I entered, and must of seen my panicked, and strange facial features.

"What's up Will?" She asked as I moved to go upstairs. I turned around since I could never ignore her (except that incident with Nico).

"Nothing," I said and my voice cracked. She gave me a knowing look. Dam, she always knows when something is wrong.
She seemed to be able to tell that it wasn't sadness from Riley, and got me to sit beside her.

"Will," she gave me the 'mom' look and avoided her eyes so I didn't give anything away, though, living up to her status of my family calling her a 'witch', she started talking almost exactly about what was bothering me. Key word: almost.

"Honey, you and Nico have been dating for some time now," she started, and I tried not to cringe as I saw where this was heading
"And I know it's not really my business, but I am your mother and I just wanted to know if, you and Nico have done... Anything,"
I cringed visibly when she finished

"No mom, we haven't," I said as if it was obvious

"Well, I know I'm not to judge Nico, he is a wonderful boy, but he seems a lot more, how do I put this? More experienced than you are honey. You can tell me the truth,"

"Mom, geez, no we haven't. Yes Nico is more 'experienced' but he respects my space and ya," I trailed off. I had put quotations around experienced.

"Then what's bothering you?" She asked

"It's nothing, I said that already," I said standing up but she put a hand on my shoulder and sat me down. Why are mothers SO GOD DAM CONVINCING! (A/n CLOSE THE GOD DAM DOOR)

"Will,"

"Ok fine, you win," I started to say, "Nico, as you call him, more experienced, isn't really wrong. He knows A LOT more than me and doesn't force me, but tries to get me to do a bit more.."

"He's not trying to make you-"

"No! He just wants to be a tiny bit more intimate, to show he cares, since he's not very good at the romantic gestures kind of thing,"