Grieving (solangelo au)

Not again

Read a/n at the bottom please!

Wills pov

Riley's birthday was coming up fast. Another birthday, another celebration. There wouldn't be a celebration though. No cookies and cream ice cream cake with pink icing designs anywhere possible on it, and was overly sugary but you still ate it so Riley was happy.
No shopping for Barbie dolls and play make up and colouring books.
Riley has not improved in any way but at least she hasn't gotten worse. She lays in the same spot and doesn't move, or make noise, strapped up to a bunch of machines that keep her fed and hydrated and check her pulse to make sure she doesn't slip away.
I don't know what if do if she did. I already lost one sibling who meant the world to me, and I don't think I could cope if I lost another.
But then there are other things that would happen if she left.
My parents could fight, or even get a divorce. I've heard it happened before, and if they did And moved away from eachother, they would probably fight for custody, and then we would move again, leaving me Kayla and Austin to make new friends. And I would have to leave Nico. I couldn't leave Nico, it would make everything 10 times worse. He is everything to me, and not just my boyfriend, he was my best friend, and being apart for more than two days makes me sad.
Not only would leaving Nico be one of the worst things ever, but I would have to come out all over again, and with out a reputation and a ton of friends and a boyfriend to back me up if something went wrong. Not all schools are as excepting as mine.
Over all, Riley dying would be like a part of me dying, and a piece of my whole family's life ripped away. Sure Riley was sort of a mistake but we love her just the same.

This small crisis occurred to me during history, and when the bell rang for next period I realized I missed the whole lesson.
"Shit," I muttered and shut my notebook and packed up my stuff to leave. Nico appeared at my side on the way out of the class so I took the opportunity to ask him a question, though it seemed he had the same one.

"What did we learn in that? I wasn't listening," we said in unison, and then groaned simultaneously.

"Why didn't you listen?" Nico asked with disappointment

"I had a small crisis, and blanked out for the whole class, I thought you could fill me in. Why'd you not listen?"
Nico simply opened his notebook that was in his hand to a page in the very back that was filled, and I mean completely filled so that there was hardly any white paper showing, with intricate doodles.

"Oh my god Nico that's amazing!" I exclaimed taking the notebook from him and looking at all the designs and sketches. It ranged from a beautiful rose or city to literally a circle swirled with dark pencil making it look like a black hole.
I flipped through a few other pages and saw that it wasn't his history notebook at all, it was a sketch book. There were pages filled with doodles, words and designs, a few titled tattoo ideas, and others actual portraits or a full scenic drawing. The last page was filled and the book literally had zero space for anything else.
There was a few pages dedicated to people, with things he associated them with or words or songs that reminded him of them. There was one for Bianca and his mom as well as Hazel and me. It was actual art, and no one would ever see it because he is so closed off.

"Nico this is amazing!" I exclaimed flipping through more of it. He had impeccable cursive (where did he even learn that?!) and had pages with paragraph long quotes in it as well as one word quotes that meant something to him.
Some things didn't even look like quotes they looked original, and I realized how talented my little neeks was.

"Can I buy this off you? Like actually?" I asked incredulously looking up at him. His eyes widened,

"Jesus Will it's not that good," he said