This is not a Romcom

About that...

He was going fast. Way too fast. Unreasonably fast. Yet I was calmed by the thought that I would be out of this car soon. Not soon enough if you ask me, but faster than if he drove like a normal human being instead of a reckless moron.

"So...," he began, not taking his eyes off the road for even a moment, "is there a reason you lied about having a ride?" I really was hoping he had forgotten about that. I glanced around at the expensive leather interior of his car before responding apprehensively.

"About that... this whole situation, you know, being alone in a confined space with some one I don't know very well, it gets awkward. When it gets awkward I embarrass myself, kinda like I am right now... Shit..." I responded, heat rushing to my face as I turned tomato red.

He laughed. A deep, husky laugh that made it very hard to stay embarrassed. What is this Greek god doing to me? No, the real question is what has Joseph Collins done to me. Until this morning I lived without stepping outside of my comfort zone, never leaving my bubble that contained just me and Jackson. I'm not yet sure about life outside my bubble yet, but I'm already out, so why stop now.

"You know, I've never met a girl quite so awkwardly charming." He said, flashing a smile that exposed his white teeth. My heart fluttered. Why couldn't Jackson be this charming?

"Thanks?" I asked more than anything. How is it that he always catches me off guard? Now, could he maybe slow the hell down?

****

That night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, the events of the day playing over and over again in my head. I like to think that I'm a realist. I know none of this should be such a big deal, but it was for me. This could potentially be life changing. I was already doing things I never thought I would do in a million years.

Change has always scared me, yet I couldn't help but get butterflies and nausea as I thought about what was to come. Thoughts of gorgeous boys and random song lyrics ran through my head as I finally drifted off to sleep.

****

The next morning I woke up with bags under my eyes. I groaned as I stared at my horrific reflection. I ran my fingers through my messy black hair and sighed before throwing on a random outfit.

As I finished getting ready, a feeling of anxiety was starting to make me nauseous. I brought my mascara wand up to my eye, struggling not to blind myself. My hands just wouldn't stop shaking. It was the same yesterday, too. My reflection in the mirror showed an even paler June than usual. I honestly didn't think that was possible.

I left my small, tidy room and headed downstairs to find my mom sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal and sipping on a cup of coffee. When she saw me she smiled, her eyes crinkling sending a warm feeling to my chest. Seeing her blonde head sitting at the kitchen table never failed to make my day. Especially since it doesn't happen often.

I've always known how lucky I was to have a mom like Janet. Since dad died it's been just the two of us. She's been strong through thick and thin, always there for me when I needed her. Maybe one day I'll be able to thank her properly. But at this moment in time I just wanted to have breakfast with my mom.

I sat down across from her and began eating my own bowl of cereal. Mom was staring at me with her electric blue eyes, a knowing smile on her face. What she knew, I did not know, and the longer she stared the more anxious I felt.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked, laughing a little. Seriously, she was starting to freak me out.

"No, but you have a boyfriend!" She yelled, giggling with a childish grin on her aged face.