Lost and Found

Chapter 3

The memory of her replayed in his head just about every second.

She left the biggest hole in his heart, and no matter what he looked for, nothing could fix it.

Everyday, he searched for her. He would've never stopped looking if the team didn't stop him every night.

Days turned into weeks, weeks to months, and eventually, months to years, but he never wanted to give up. If it were up to him, he would've kept looking no matter what. But the master forbid him to. The master said he needed to take care of himself. This was true. Natsu had lost weight and never had an appetite. He didn't take any jobs for months causing him to slip into debt. He sent Happy to live with Lisanna for a while that way he wouldn't harm him, but overall Natsu was a wreck.

Natsu couldn't sleep at night due to the nightmares that haunted his dreams. He blamed himself every single day since she disappeared. He never talked to anyone anymore. He also made sure he didn't get anymore fights with Gray and Gajeel because...that's what Lucy would've wanted.

After a year, the guild decided she wasn't ever going to come back.

They held a funeral for the celestial mage. They constructed a pond with white lilies with a grave at the top of the water fall.

During the ceremony, Natsu could barely contain himself. Every time someone said her name, he became on the verge of tears. Although, when everyone left, Natsu approached the grave like a skittish kitten.

"H-hey Luce." Natsu whispered in a hoarse tone. He cleared his throat desperately trying to hold back his tears.

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that," he paused,"tell you we love you..." The more he spoke, the more the tears threatened to fall. But he kept his strength, his fake strength.

"...and we m-miss you."

After a long pause, he began again.

"Just why did you have to leave?" He couldn't hold back. Tears streamed down his face with such freedom. He couldn't seem to stop them.

"Why did you sacrifice yourself? You can't just die on me! This isn't right! You deserve a happy life! Not this, you deserve more than this. You deserve..." He fell to his knees. Tears stained the white scarf placed around his neck. His chest heaved with no pattern of breath.

"You deserve love...and protection...and warmth...and if you didn't leave, I could give you all of those things!" Natsu screamed slamming his fists down onto the concrete that surrounded the pond leaving a slight crack.

Gray and Erza found Natsu shortly after and tried to comfort him, but no matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn't stop.

The next day, Natsu didn't show to the guild, or the day after, and the day after that. Natsu didn't go back to the guild because the guild just reminded him of Lucy. And he just couldn't bare the tearing of his heart any longer.

This lasted years 'til one day, everything changed.