From The Heart

CHAPTER 4

"So where were we?" I asked as I plopped on the couch next to Chad. He raised a brow.
"Ah yes you were about to tell me something." I said picking him. I honestly wanted him to tell me himself though I already knew.

"Oh no, that...i-it was nothing." He said I noticed he stuttered this boy in front of me, never stuttered unless he was nervous.

"Uh huh." I said with my best skeptical look. I knew he was a bad telling lies but I never thought it was this bad."I'm not going to push you to tell me." I said truthfully. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Why do I get the feeling you already know?" I placed my hand dramatically on my heart.

"How could I possibly know what you haven't told me?" I said feigning hurt.

"How do I know that you know what I know I haven't told you?" He said wiggling his eyebrows with a goofy smile.

"If you don't know if I know what you think that I know, then how could you possibly accuse me of something like knowing what you think I know but I don't know." I said attempting to confuse him but I ended up confusing myself as well. He furrowed his eyebrows. I took this as my opportunity to try and get it out of him." Supposing that I knew what you think that I know can you answer this question...are you gay?"

He paled.

"How did you know?" He asked

"You kind of let it slip at Starbucks yesterday." I said." You said 'he' instead of 'she'." I looked down playing with my fingers. "So are you?"

"Yeah...I guess." I gave him a warm, tight hug. "Your not freaked out?" He asked quietly.

"No, why would I be freaked out?" I asked, with a frown." Just because I go to church on Sundays doesn't mean I hate my best friend in the whole world. By the why the GBF spot has been already taken.

"By who?" He asked.

"August."I said nonchalantly. He frowned and pouted. He looked so cute. I almost felt bad. "Sorry should have come out earlier." I said standing up and walking out of the room. Leaving him on the couch. I went to my room, I opened the window as my room felt a bit stuffy. I sat on my bed and pulled out my phone. Searching through my contacts I found Augusts ,I clicked on it and started to type a message.

'Are you alright?' I asked. I waited for a minute or so then locked my phone and went towards the bathroom to take a shower.

I closed the door, and came face to face with a girl. This girl had come to New York in search of a place to start her life build friendships to study and get a job -or become famous- start a life find a guy get married, have kids live ,my life to the fullest...but it's been hard I got through high school with suicidal thoughts what could be next?

I stripped my clothes and stepped into the shower the warm water cascading down my body. I messaged my  caramel skin. The skin my momma said set me apart from others. I messaged my hair with my shampoo. The beautiful curls my grandmother helped me take care of. As I grew up in high school I would always straighten my hair. Thinking that I would look more 'normal' with straight hair. My gramma always told me I looked better with my natural hair. I didn't see it then but now I keep it curly all the time. Straightening would damage my hair anyway.

I stepped out the shower singing 'without a word' by Birdy. Turns out I took a liking to alternative music.

"My mother always told me that I should know my roots and where I came from. I thought she was talking about the state I came from but as I grew up I realized it wasn't that state I lived in it was the country in which my ancestors came from the traditions in which they had.