Choices {Phan}

Silence {8}

"D-Dan?! What the heck!?"

"Phil, I-I,"

"How could you not tell me?"

"I wanted to, I just had to know how you felt about me. To make sure this would be the right thing to do,"

"Dan," I said. "W-what!?! How!?"

I looked at Dan's eyes. Cold, frozen in fear. Scared, shaking. He thought a mistake was made. There was no mistake. Just mixed feelings.

"W-wig," Dan said, gesturing towards the object. "F-follow me."

He stood up and walked in the direction of his bedroom.

"Dan, I-I don't t-hink I'm r-ready for anything right now."

"No Phil. Not that."

He led me to his closet.

"This is where I lived for a few years." He joked.

I snickered.

He opened his closet and I saw his usual clothes. Black, brown, gray, zipped up jumpers.

"I've been wanting to tell you for a while, Phil. I j-just wanted to m-make sure you felt t-the same way about me."

Crying more than he was earlier, he unzipped one of his longer jumpers. A red dress underneath. He grabbed the end of a shirt and lifted it up. A dark blue blouse. He continued throughout his closet, showing me a hidden rainbow and a new world I probably wouldn't have discovered without him showing me.

Sick. I felt sick. Not sick as in disgusted. Sick as in vomit. I started to feel really hot and started to sweat.

"Dan, I-I n-need t-to-"

Run. I sprinted to the bathroom. My hands gripped at the sides of the toilet seat as I dropped my knees to the floor. My eyes forced shut as I heard splashing from underneath me. I felt hot tears fall down my face.

"Phil? Are you okay?" Dan asked, kneeling next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Dan, I don't know."

I tore off a square of toilet paper from the roll hanging beside me and wiped off my chin.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Dan. Too many feelings I guess."

"Listen, Phil. I wanted to tell you earlier, but-"

"Yeah Dan. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted to know if you actually liked me. You were about to tell Danielle that you were breaking up with her for me. I wanted to make sure you felt the same way I felt,"

He removed his hand from my shoulder as I pushed out my legs so they were straddling the toilet. I put my elbows on my upper thighs and placed my head in them.

Silence.

Silence is a weird word. Sometimes it's perfect. Sometimes you wish it would go away. I want Dan to talk to me. I want to talk to him. I just don't know what to say. I needed him to talk to me, but he just walked away without another word. I heard his door shut softly. I felt my shoulders shaking as I was violently sobbing, although I don't know why...