Set Me Free

"I've missed you."

"Some people, they can just move on, you know, mourn and cry and be done with it. Or at least seem to be. But for me... I don't know. I didn't want to fix it, to forget. It wasn't something that was broken. It's just...something that happened. And like that hole, I'm just finding ways, every day, of working around it. Respecting and remembering and getting on at the same time."

Daniel's POV

Daniel didn't know what he was doing here.

He had challenged himself to venture out of his bedroom, to start trying to be a part of the world once again. One of those challenges had been to do something that scared him.

This definitely scared him.

He stood at the edge of the dancefloor, beer in his hand to make himself at least look like he was having fun. He hadn't drunk alcohol before now and the taste of beer was a little too bitter for him. He would have to get used to it.

The music was loud, too loud. It could barely hear his own thoughts as the music pumped through his body. Bodies moved around him, people wrapped around in each other in a desperate attempt to look attractive.

He couldn't help but wonder if this was what people counted as fun. It looked forced to him as he saw the looks on people's faces around him. They all looked too hot, too cramped, too drunk. It was almost as if they had to convince themselves that they were enjoying this, that it was a part of normalcy to have fun here.

He would have to learn to do that too.

"Would you like to dance?" he faintly hears a voice shout over the music. Daniel turns to see a blonde woman, no taller than five foot, standing next to him holding a glass of wine. She looked unsteady on her feet, as if the glass she was holding was one of many. Her eyes looked vacant, her smile flirtatious.

He didn't know how to answer.

Daniel didn't want to dance, didn't even know how to dance. He had never been in a situation like this, never had the opportunity to learn. He was scared he would make a fool himself, that people would look at him and laugh. That people would realise he wasn't normal.

"Sorry," he shouts back over the music, "I can't." He quickly walks away after he rejects her, making the bar his direct target. He didn't really like beer, but maybe he would like something else.

Four shots of vodka later and Daniel was dancing. He no longer cared about looking like an idiot, he didn't care about people staring. The alcohol had taken over and was commanding him to dance, to let loose, to enjoy himself. He could understand why people did this now, he understood why people drank, why they went to sweaty clubs and let loose.

The music was unfamiliar to him, but then again most music was. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard music, really listened to it. He was enjoying it. The song had a repetitive rhythm, a beat that he could feel moving his body each time it sounded. He felt like he had lost control, it was now a mixture of the music and the alcohol that controlled his actions.

He didn't like it.

He had lost control of his life for so long that he didn't wish to feel like that again. The alcohol took away his judgement, took away his control.

He needed some air.

Daniel ran for the back door where a collection of clubbers were currently smoking. It wasn't exactly fresh air, but it was better than being in that club.

He sat at the back, head between his knees, desperately trying to wish away the effects of the alcohol. He couldn't understand why people enjoyed this so much, why they enjoyed losing that control.