Just Ales

Chapter 9 (Just Ales)

"Do you love me?" I asked. The tears that were streaking down my face continued their suicide plunge even when I begged them to stop. I hated showing weakness. 

My mother's face dropped. She spread her arms out, a request for a hug. I crossed my arms. Refusal.

"Of course we love you! Do you see all that you have? You have everything, Ales!" She said and still held her arms out slackly; like wilted flowers. "Look at this house! All of the vacations you get, that horse! Those are all signs of how much we care."

Although they seemed to think I was, I wasn't that shallow.

My throat clogged with tears. "Love can't be bought," I said and turned to leave.

My father grabbed my arm, the way he does when he's angry.

"Alessandra. You are a spoiled brat." he hissed. His face turned red, and I glared coldly into his eyes. His hand tightened but I didn't wince. Show. No. Weakness.  I kept my chin up and didn't let anymore tears escape my eyes. Daddy sighed loudly through his teeth, and turned away, letting my arm go. I head towards the stairs, but my mother called after me- "Ales!"

I whirled. 

"Don't call me that," I snapped. 

My father made for my arm again; his face practically purple. I darted out of his grasp, and bounded up the stairs, breaths choked in my throat. 

Back down in the kitchen I heard the clink of glasses and the sound of whiskey pouring. 

Once I was safe in my room, I pulled my sleeve up to examine my arm. Five red slashes marked the skin. 

I crawled to the bed, hugging a pillow to my chest, and allowed myself five minutes of tears and hiccuping. Then I went into the ensuite bathroom and splashed water on my face, wiping off my mascara with a washcloth. To be honest, I didn't remember what started the argument. I only recalled the events that happened after I dropped the bombshell.

I unhooked my fire escape ladder from it's perch under my window, and unfurled it. It cascaded down the side of my house, stopping about a foot from the ground. I climbed down, pulled my bike out of the bushes. 

As I swung my leg over the seat, I caught a flash of white-blonde. Cay had heard the thump of my window, and was being her usual angel. She knew where I needed to be and she knew that I hated talking to people when I was in this state. Cay reached out for the ladder, and began drawing it  back into the window, and I turned my bike down the road and headed for my horse. 

******************************************************************************************

"Care to explain?" Jack drawled, leaning over the stall door. I had fled after my confrontation with Jer to a clean empty stall, and was about to have a healthy pity party. 

I glared up at him and pushed my hair out of my eyes. It still unsettled me to see the dull brown instead of my usual sun color. But I no longer shined like the sun.  My head spun, and I blinked, trying to steady my vision. 

"I-nothing,"  I muttered, and wiped at my eyes. 

Jack came into the stall with me, and sat down. 

"Seriously," I said avoiding his eye contact. "I'm fine."

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I struggled to steady my breathing. 

"Did you know her?" Jack suddenly asked. "Alessandra. Were you close?" 

I leaned back against the wall with a hand over my eyes. "Something like that." 

"You really knew her?" He asked, a vibe of excitement coloring his voice. 

I grimaced at the past tense. Were people really buying that load of garbage? 

"Know," I corrected. 

"She's still alive?" Jack said, incredulous. 

"Er....yeah." If only you knew.....

"You've seen her since the accident?" 

I shrugged. "From a distance." 

"What? Oh well, doesn't matter. She's alive! The kids were so worried....I wonder if she'll come back." Jack mused. 

"Back?" 

"Y'know, to recuperate after that fall. It was a bad one, I think. We're getting the footage tomorrow."

"What?!" I scrambled up, sending shavings flying in the process. The minute I stood, I felt dizzy, so I grabbed the side of the stall. 

"Yeah, I ordered it because I think it's good for the Pony Clubbers to see that accidents DO happen, and often in the horse world. Everyone thought she was invincible- it's like seeing Superman getting gunned down. No, it's like seeing Superman tripping and falling into a pit of lava. He gets burned, but it's his own fault..." 

"Oh, fantastic," I said sarcastically. "I'm sure that I- um, Alessandra would really enjoy that analogy." 

"Maybe she really will come back!" Jack exclaimed. "I mean, no one knows. She could need therapy. She must be feeling awful, and probably blaming herself for her horse's death. I know I would."

Okay, so talking to Jack right now was a reeeeally bad idea. 

"Yeeah," I said slowly, feeling tears swelling up in my throat. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Jack said, standing up as well. 

"Um....," I blinked my eyes rapidly. 

"I'm really sorry, I can't shut my mouth sometimes," Jack said, and guided me out of the stall. By now my vision was blurry, and I was fighting the urge to curl up and bawl like a baby. Walking on wobbly legs, I made my way to a chair outside Jer's office, and collapsed. 

I closed my eyes. 

A few minutes later Jer hurried over to me. Evidently Jack had called him over. I opened my eyes a few times, but it took too much effort so eventually I just left them closed. Their voices seemed to be a distant murmur. My limbs felt heavy, and I was cold, so cold. 

I felt Jer's hand on my forehead. Then he said something else in a foggy voice, and Jack replied in an equally unclear voice. 

It took to much energy to try and discern what they were saying so I relaxed my mind, and welcomed the soothing numbness.