Forbidden Lovers

Chapter 20

My focus turned to the dingy house in front of me. It clearly hadn't been inhabited in years, the grass was tall and unruly, unkempt. The door was red and old, wooden. The windows looked dirty and smeared, black curtains blocking us from view. There were black curtains at every visible window. There were no birds around here, no wildlife. Even they knew to back away. Jonathan lead the way, a swarm of police officers following. They walked up a makeshift path, barely visible through the jungle all around. Jonathan banged against the door loudly. I don't know how on earth the door could stand it. 

"It's the police. If you don't let us in we're going to have to break in!" Silence for a minute, and then Jonathan repeated what he had just done and said. Then I could hear him sigh from all the way over here.

"You leave me no choice." He told every body to stand back, and then he kicked the door in.

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Talia's POV

It was happening all over again. I had been so careful, hurt for so long and then Daniel..he had helped me through the last of it, I had even slightly accepted that I wasn't to blame for Lilly's death. Who was I kidding? I was completely to blame. I kept my mind blank as he did unspeakable things, things that will be imprinted in my mind forever. I've lost my fight, I've lost my battle. If I sit here and don't scream out he won't spank me. So I sit and stare ahead blankly. I think about my tiny little baby, so cruelly taken from me. His baby. Every time this...man whispered the word baby it made me shudder, Daniel called me that. Only my Daniel could call me that. I kept hearing Daniel screaming, begging and pleading to let me go. It made me cry at how desperately he'd tried. If I had that will, if I had anything left in me I would. But I was so tired I could sleep on the spot, it was like my brain had just given up.

But I'm a disgusting creature. I deserve all of this. The scars on my wrists..they deserved to be there. I barely ate, yet looking down at my hip bones they swelled out, my bony knees became chubby knees and my belly swelled over. Not skinny enough, such a fat disgusting whore. 

I was a whore and a slut and that's why Lilly died. I deserved everything, and that's why I stopped complaining. He knew I hated all that he was doing but he went ahead anyway. I didn't want to be pregnant again though, I couldn't face it. I could never have kids, I'd always compare their eyes to Lilly's, their little smile to Lilly's. What if they were never good enough? What if they never compared? I'd be an awful mother. But what if I thought they were better than Lilly? That would be disrespecting their memory and I couldn't do it.

Finally the finish came. The moment where louder moaning came, where soon the pain would stop. Or so I thought. He stopped everything, my body feeling more disgusting than ever. I felt like I would never get rid of the feeling of him on me. Maybe because I wouldn't. I just wanted Daniel's arms around me, hugging me. He walked over and turned off the camera. I heard the beep and then he shut it and left, banging and locking the door. I stayed on the floor and cried and cried. I put the little clothing I had on, and then huddled on the floor with burning tears rushing down my sweaty face. I wanted to go back to being a little girl with no worries, who was free and peaceful and could eat a chocolate bar with no worries and was fine with my own body. No curves yet and just happiness everywhere. That's what being a kid's supposed to be, right? I had that. Until a certain point in my life, I had that. 

I always used to wonder what I'd done wrong, why had I deserved it? I hadn't understood, the fact that this was saving me from another fate. Those men doing this to me, because I made them happy maybe I would still be alright. I would still be a slut, but for pleasing these men then I could go on in life. I could never be with Daniel..then again when would I ever get out of here? It felt like I'd been here years, yet I knew I hadn't. I then hallucinated.