Patience | Justin Bieber

29

"That's the problem," he says as his smile fades. What? He just gave me a compliment??? Why is that a problem???? You've got 99 problems... and the fact that I'm a gr8 kisser is a main struggle for you????

"I don't get it? Is it because you feel inferior to me?" I say as I embrace his shoulder with my hand and offer him a sarcastic, sympathetic look. He simply smiles and shakes his head at me as he continues to look at his fidgeting fingers.

"It's just..." he tries to continue, but I don't think he can find the words, "you... we... we don't..."

Then it clicked.

"Hey um... its fine..." he actually looked at me when I said that, but now I was struggling to give him eye contact, "we don't, you know, um... need to continue any of this once it's over..."

wow that low key killed me to say...

He surprises me when he quickly takes my hand in his.

"But that's the thing, that's not what I want!" He says desperately. okay now I'm confused.

"But then... wait why are you ignoring me then?"

"I just... I don't want to hurt you, or me..."

"but y-" oh...

OH

It actually clicked this time.

I suppose this was the reality check I needed, right? Like as if this can continue once the tour ends... wow... like we can pretend all we want now but Im going to be so fucked up when he leaves me in the end.... It's like getting into a relationship know its not going to end well but just going for it anyway....

I actually just forgot that he was a world famous pop star with a million and one horny little 13 year olds, me included, begging and yearning their whole lives for even a glimpse of his beautiful blonde hair. Well in my defence, I'm sitting here on a cliff in fucken Greece with the one and only holding my hand as he's almost in tears he can't have me. This is normal to me now... Of COURSE I forget who he is, all I know is who he really is. not this pop star thingo everyone else sees him as....

But I suppose that means nothing right? He's too famous to maintain a relationship with, like without me getting death threats from the horny 13 years olds. And I mean regardless of the fact that he's famous.. He lives on the other side of the world. Like fuck me dead man. I'm fucked from every angle.

"r-right... I get it..."

"Gray-"

"No no no I genuinely understand..."

Silence.

...

...

"I hate this," he says quietly as I release a breath I was unknowingly holding in.

"Me too..." I turn to face him, "you know, we can still talk after..."

A smile smile creeps onto his face, but I can tell he's forcing it. I know it's not the same, but its something, right? Regardless of how he really feels, he takes my hand in his again and taps on it lightly with his free hand, "mmm..." he hums and he continues to look out to the canal.

" I promise I'll text you everyday and call you as often as I can..." his still closed mouth smile grows more genuine and he slowly moves his eyes to meet mine.

"Promise?"

"mmm.." I hum, mimicking him. He chuckles lightly as he moves his arm around me to bring me into his embrace. I close my eyes. so warm. so. fricken. warm.

"I love you, Gray, yeah?" Huh. Thats weird. He's never said that before.... and.... its not weird. That felt normal... I know it was intended to be in a friendly manner, I suppose thats why. Hm... weird. I mean not weird.

Weird that its not weird.

(Yo wait I forgot if Ive made him say that yet.... sorry if he has omg forgiv me)

"Mmm..." I coo, ha I love that word, as I snuggle into him more. He deeply exhaled and it felt as if he tensed up for a moment, but I didnt think anything of it once I felt him kiss my forehead.

I turned my head around to Mikey, only to find him with his phone pointed in our direction. Sneaky monster.

"That little bitch," I whisper as I peer over Justin's hoodie covered arms that are secured around my shoulder tightly. He looks down to me after my minor profanity outburst, then follows my line of sight to find cheeky lil Mikey taking a photo of us. He doesnt say anything, he just brings his other arm around to give Mikey one of his fingers, Ill give you a hint, its not any of the friendly fingers, along with a cheeky smile to seal the deal.

I simply laugh as Mikey follows giving him the same finger and continuing to take photos.

"ALLLLLRIGHTY EVERYONE ON THE BUS," caitlin calls and I sigh remembering I didnt get my lollies I was longing for.

"Whats up bup," Justin says as he helps me stand up, most likely noticing my over dramatic sigh due to my lack of candy. This is actually a very serious thing u know, dont lol(ly) at me... (sorry that was horrific but I was lacking in puns and I needed that content)

"Im lacking in candy bro, I forgot to buy some," I say groggily as he pulls me by my hand towards the bus.

"Not to worry, darlin," he says looking back at me and I give him a confused look,

"You're sweet enough" omg bye

•••

Forgive me father for I have sinned

Im really l8 with this one