Make Me Stay [Zarry AU]

8. The Proposal

"You don't fúcking understand. Do you?", pulling his hair, Zayn said in frustration. "P-please, let me bring someone. I-I need this. God damnit, I fućking need this.", pacing in their living room, he now yelled, making Harry flinch a little in his seat on the couch.

"Z-Zayn, cal-"

"No! Don't you fúcking dare to tell me to calm down, you little piece of shit. I won't. I fúcking can't damnit. This is all your fault. Your fúcking fault. If my father hadn't seen you, if your mother wasn't ill and if you fúcking wouldn't have agreed to this marriage I would have living my life the way I always have. Drinking, partying, having sex. But fúck, you and my father have to interfere and ruin it all."

Harry was now looking at him with sadness. It's been 3 months. 3 long months since Zayn last had sex and he was going crazy. College was more hectic than he had imagined. It was like a routine. They woke up, ate breakfast, fight over music and radio in the car then Harry switching off the radio, parting their ways as they entered the University, got back home, having dinner, fighting over the TV programs they wanted to watch then going back to the bed after Harry wishing him goodnight and Zayn well, something like "have terrible night, horrible dreams" and the cycle kept repeating. Sure, Zayn flirted with his classmates at the University but never got the chance to do more than making out because of the lack of time he got between the classes.

In the weekends too, he was either busy with his home works and projects or driving Harry back to his home to see his mother. He couldn't deny, but he felt bad for his mum, but he respected her. For being so strong even though she knew she had got very few times left of her life. And Zayn didn't mind acting all lovey dovey in front of Anne on Harry's request. He sometimes wished he could hold Harry when he'd be crying on their way back home after paying his mother a visit though, but he didn't say anything.

Harry too felt bad for Zayn. He knew, Zayn was trying. After living with Zayn for 3 months, he knew, all Zayn needed was a little push. Zayn hadn't brought any one after their chat on the first day and he must admit 3months going without sex was a big deal for anyone like Zayn. He was feeling sympathy for the poor boy though. But he knew, he couldn't allow Zayn to bring anyone to please his needs. He had to make him a better man and a responsible one but he didn't know how to handle this situation.

His thoughts suddenly broke when he felt something on his knees. He looked down too see it was Zayn's hands. Zayn was in front of him, on both of his knees and was looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Z-Zayn, I can't. I promised your father, I won't allow you to bring anyone to shag. I can't break my promise. I'm sorry." Harry said and saw Zayn clenching his jaw in anger. He hesitantly cupped his cheeks and looked into his eyes.

"How bad you need it Zayn?", Harry whispered softly making Zayn's face soften a little.

"So much Harry, i-it hurts.", Zayn said and Harry could tell those tears behind those golden orbs could fall from them anytime. And he knew, it was physically hurting Zayn. 'Cause the Zayn Malik he knew would NEVER beg him like that nor he would show this side of him in front of a person he had spent his entire life calling 'fag'.

"I-I have a proposal.", Harry finally said.

Zayn looked at him attentively now. Curious to know what Harry had to say.

Harry took a deep breath. He couldn't believe, he was going to say this. He knew, he'd be humiliated, ashamed of himself afterwards but he couldn't see Zayn like this, and deep down, he wanted his first time to be with Zayn too. So releasing a deep breath he finally said,

"you...you can have me."

"What?", Zayn said astonished.

"I said you can have me. I mean, you need a release and I can't allow to bring anyone home, so I guess, it's my responsibility, so um, yeah, you can have me.", Harry said, flushing bright red. And Zayn didn't know why that colour tightened his pants a little.

"You sure?", Zayn asked, earning a nod from Harry.

"Okay. See, then let me clear something first.", Zayn said and Harry looked down at his foot. He could guess what these "somethings" could be.

" It's gonna be sex and only sex. No emotion involving. And if it's not for my cravings, I swear, I wouldn't have touched you Styles but I need this so much. And yeah, I tend to go rough, so I'm saying sorry in advance.", Zayn said to which Harry nod and mumbled a low "I know."

"Cool. Um, go wait in your room, I'll be coming after having some wine. I can't do you without something in my system." And Harry couldn't deny, it hurt him. But he said nothing and got up from the couch.

"There's my one condition Zayn", Harry said as he was about to go upstairs.

Zayn looked at him with questioning eyes, a glass of wine in his hands.

"You..you can't kiss me on the lips. And I won't take off my glasses.", Harry said making Zayn laugh.

"You make me laugh Styles. You can have sex with me but I can't kiss you?", he said and laugh.

"Yeah, 'cause it's saved for the time of making love not sex.", Harry said, looking down.

"Fine Styles. I wouldn't want to kiss you anyway and those glasses, I don't think it'll make you any hotter after taking them. So it's all fine with me.", after taking a huge gulp, Zayn said.

Harry nodded and mumbled a quick, "I'll be in my room" and sprinted upstairs to calm himself down a little before it starts. And he couldn't deny, his heart was pounding.

*********************************
So this idea suddenly popped up in my perverted mind. Lol. I don't know if that makes any sense, though. Hope you all will like it *fingers crossed*

dedicated to: zarryslovrrr piggypie213 SamanthaAMMY (here comes our youknowwhat ;) Shay_Styless condoningcaitlin