Deviation Records | BTS Fanfiction

13 | Walls

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"People isolate themselves and call their shields walls because they think that's all emotional shelter. They stay unharmed alright, but they suffocate. They set themselves free for seconds then do it again. Can't we just learn?"
Inspired by Jonghyun.

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Yoonbi

I'm late and I feel so heavy.
The walls I built inside are too thick. I check the time and first class started five minutes ago. I walk carelessly, losing the sole energy to run to class. I can't even feel my legs. I feel like I'll collapse any second.

I stare absentmindedly at my shoes, they almost ripped from the amount of running I did in such a high speed.

Finally, I reach class. I knock twice. Then I open the door, my face straightens, pushing the heaviness I feel away.

There you are Yoonbi! Why were you late? I feel RyungNa's eyes on me as she asks. I don't give her a glance and ignore the smilie Jimin as well. Suga's calm face eyeing me as I walk to my seat doesn't faze me either.

But it was him. Jungkook. It's like he saw right through me, the way he looked at me. As if he feels it all. As if he can see it all. But even if maybe, maybe he understands what's happening to me, it's too late.

I built a wall with great power that it'd never fall, to separate me from my pain and keep the memories away. I carelessly let go of my bag beside my desk on the floor, not hanging it neatly as usual. Sitting down, the back of my neck touches my wet collar. Looks like my wet hair wetted my clothes, what a useless bun. I sigh and pull a notebook out to shut the teacher who's staring at me grudgingly. I'm not going to apologize because I'm late today, forget it woman.

She sighs heavily and turns to the board again, "So, can anyone repeat what biotechnology is?" I sigh too and look away, staring at my blank paper like it held something so intriguing. I hear Namjoon answering, times like these I would question myself if anyone in this class actually studies other than Namjoon.

Gradually, I drop my body on the table, my arms forming a pillow as I lay my head on them, face down. I feel... Cold. So cold. I shiver before going to sleep.

"....I think she's tired or something, or maybe she's in a bad mood." A boy says.

"No, I'm telling you she totally ignored me this morning BamBam." A girl argues.

"Wait wait, she came late and slept for all the classes. When did you talk to her?" I recognize Jimin's voice. His mates hum and talk in anticipation.

"Um, uh... Sh-she..." RyungNa couldn't get an excuse quickly, and despite my heavy demeanor I chose to help her out. Just because it's getting too noisy and I want to be alone.

Yeah, just because of that.

I sit up so suddenly that the group of people crowding around me in the empty class gasp, "are you okay?" Jackson touches my shoulder.

"Are you alright Yoonbi?" RyungNa comes next, taking my cold hand in hers, "oh my god, your hands are so-" I snatch my hand away and stand up, curtly letting Jackson's hand lose contact with my body.

"What's wrong Yoonbi?" Jimin asks next, on behalf of his six friends. Suga looks at me, trying to figure something out. But too bad, he can't this time. Jungkook is standing behind as well, all were watching closely. They never did anything to me. All of them, I can't be rude to them for absolutely nothing. And I can't lie either. Suga will know that something is wrong.