Regret your Rejection yet?

Gone gone away..

Hours, days,weeks, I'm not sure how long I was in that closet. I couldn't see. I was sill crying so hard, tears I never even knew I had. they all were just, There. and they were never ending. Soon, a person, picked me up and set me on the bed.

I'm not sure who it was, I couldn't see , my eyes were swollen almost shut, but open enough to let all my tears fall. I couldn't hear the world around me, the only thing I could hear was my heart breaking, my wolf howling, and my own desperate horrible sobs. I couldn't feel anything either. It was like I had gone numb from all the pain.

I couldn't believe this could even happen to a person. Who the hell could even make it thru this? Two rejections by your only mates. how? How was it even possible?

I eventually stopped crying and was knocked out for a few days. But that wasn't willingly. I was drugged. Apparently I wasn't the only one who couldn't take myself anymore.

I woke up in 'his' bed. I looked around and everything was the same. I then noticed that the shower was running and I could distinctly smell 'his' shampoo. I hurried up and jumped outta bed. I ran to the door and ripped it open, not caring that the handle had come flying off into 'his' room somewhere.

I bee lined for the stairs and ran down them so fast I almost didn't even realize I was down stairs all ready. 'His' parents were down there on the couch. They looked at me and gave me looks that said " I'm sorry this happened to you " and I suddenly felt really sucky.

I ran to the nearest bath room and then shut and locked the door. I then looked at my self in the mirror. I was all but bare bone. My skin looked like it had decided to cling to my bones for dear life. I looked like I had never ate a cheeseburger in my entire life.

My face tho. My face was what really scared me. My eyes were swollen but you could still see my eyeballs,so dark and gloomy, that I didn't even know they were my own bright blue ones. They weren't even blue anymore.

My hair was everywhere that had space for it to stick up.

And my cheeks were so oh so hollow. I really looked like shiz! My lips where a pale blueish color and cracked.

I looked like death it's self!!

I couldn't take this anymore. I had a life ahead of me. If only I were human. I could go to college and fall in love and have kids! I ran up to the library as fast as I could. I knew exactly what I had to do. I needed to make myself human.

I searched for hours nobody knowing I was even in there, and the only thing I could find was go into a self induced coma. And stay there Long enough that your wolf subsides and your more human traits take over. So that's exactly what I planned to do. I would start fresh. Start new. And when people asked about my old life? I'd tell them I was rejected from my family because I had more of a chance at a future than them, and I decided to act on it.

I ran back down stairs to the kitchen grabbed a pen and a notebook and headed to the bathroom. I started writing letters to my closest friends and my family, as much as I may hate them.

" Dear Angie,

I love you. I always have and I always will. You were my big sister, and up until you started with the I'm better crap, I looked up to you. I went to you for all my problems. And even tho you hated me, you still helped. If it didn't ruin your reputation. Just know I'm going to a better life if I make it thru this. And I love you. An I'll come back to visit. Just do two things for me will you? Kick mark in the nuts and get sober before I come back ok? Kay. I love you.

Lilly<3 "

" Dear mom and dad,

I love you two and I always will. I know when you were always telling me to act like my sister you just wanted me to be a better person because you didn't see the bad side that everyone else at school saw. Just the fake side she put up. And I'm sorry for running away like that and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. Just please do one thing for me? Be a better set of parents and help Angie out before I come back to visit.

I love you.

Lilly<3"

I cried as I wrote all of these letters.

" Dear Avery,

You are and where my first and very best friend you have been there for me when I've had my doubts and been there for me when I've been down. And bish I swear I'm coming back and stealing you to come to college with me. So we can have the experience together. With out the heart break. I love you with all my heart. And don't think that because I did this I am leaving you. I just swore I'd come back. And I'm a woman of my word. I love you.

Lilly<33"

" Dear Jaccen,

Thanks for all the best memories that I've ever had. Thanks for making me feel like I was wanted. Thanks for making me feel love like I was meant to. I know it was all a lie and fake, but it meant the world to me. I love you and always will. But on the flip side... What an inconsiderate arsehole!! What the hell were you thinking playing with my heart like that? This is the reason I'm doing this, to get away to a better life where if I have heart break? It doesn't last my entire life. You of all people should know what I've been through. You off all people should know how a rejection feels. And i had to feel it twice and a biz zillion times more than you did buddy!!! And even tho you never said the words. You did. But you didn't have to dumb it down. And when I come back to get Avery and say hey to all my family i'll repeat the same exact words to you that I did to mark. bhy.

Lilly-:)"

I ripped all the letters out of the note book and folded them and set them down on the floor beside the bath tub. I knew exactly what I had to do. And exactly how to do it. Exactly where to cut and how deep. I hope y'all regret this later. Goodbye.

Goodbye my inner wolf. I know we haven't had each other long, but you'll always be inside me. Just only able to talk to me. But with serious effort and a serious drain of energy will you be able to do that. I won't be able to shift ever again or talk to anyone with a link, ever again . No more special wolfy powers. I love you. Goodbye.

Goodbye baby girl. and know this, I love you to and even tho it will take enormous effort ill talk to you when you need me most, when danger is near or when it is upon us. I love you. goodbye.

An with tears rolling down my face I took the knife, and cut into that certain vein in each wrist and ankle. Just as I went into my coma everything blacked out. And the door busted open, and suddenly a violent scream was heard and desperate sobbing for me to wake up and not to do this to myself. That I was loved. ( bc when your in a coma you can hear people at least that's what they say :|)

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I bet y'all didn't expect that did you? no? Hahaha well only maybe 10 to 11 chapters left before I end the book:) she's been such a long way hasn't she? ugh!! I feel like crying!! I could barely even write this chapter!! I know Alota things aren't making since but next chapter is going to be in Jaccen's point of view. And then pieces will start to click together in that smart head of y'all's !!!

Love you my priannahs!!

Comment!!!! please!!!

Vote!!!! pretty please!!!!

Recommend!!!?!??!?

P.S- I write from my iiPod so if some chapter seem a little short, I'm sorry they just look really really long on my iiPod aha so um bhy!!!

Oh and P.P.S- I'm making a new cover and maybe a new description for the book..okay?:)

~Muio!!<3