Regret [Yurio x Reader]

Regret {Part 2}

My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost
I need to feel something, 'cause I'm still so far from home
Cross your heart and hope to die
Promise me you'll never leave my side

It's not the first time I've had these thoughts. It's scary, having these thoughts when I'm perfectly happy. Nothing is going wrong, I have a good life. At least, I think I am happy. Happiness, what is it exactly? Why is it fleeting and never constant?

I should let him go.

I'm just holding him back.

He doesn't need me to be happy, right?

I am happy with him, right?

These questions plague my mind almost everyday. It didn't used to be like this. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. I should be happy that my boyfriend is sleeping on my lap with his cat on his chest. Happiness, I feel it right now. Someone cares about me, he's there for me to lean on. He's been supportive of my decisions.

"Oi," the sleepy voice of Yuri calls out. "What's that look on your face for?"

I blink at him. "Um, it's nothing."  He gives me a look in response. I sigh softly before answering again. "You promise you won't leave my side?"

Again, he gives me that look like I'm the dumbest person on the planet. "You idiot, I won't."

I smile softly. Maybe I'm just being silly.

Show me what I can't see when the spark in my eyes is gone
You got me on my knees, I'm your one man cult
Cross my heart and hope to die
Promise you I'll never leave your side

He truly looks like an angel on the ice. He belongs there. It's amazing how he can own the ice like he does. All his movements are graceful and hold passion for what he's doing. Ever since those dancing lessons, he's changed, Yuri is more passionate than before. His routine doesn't look as forced anymore, it has a more innocence.

I'm holding him back.

He can be much better off without me.

When I'm with him, the world changes. Before our relationship, the world was full just black and white. Now, it sparkles, the whole world sparkles. Every place we go is much more lively than it was when I was alone. I love the look in his normally cold eyes when we are together. It makes my heart swell up. I don't have to leave him right now. I'll stay just a bit longer so I can see the colorful world with him.

"You have that look again." Yuri's voice brings me out of my thoughts. I glance at him with an "innocent" look.

"What are you talking about? I'm just thinking of my adorable little boyfriend."

I struck a nerve with him. "I am not adorable or little! Don't even play innocent with me! You had that look in your eyes again! Quit thinking I'm going to leave you when I'm not!" He shouts in some anger.

I tuck a piece of my [hair color] hair behind my ear and smirk at him. "No promises~."

'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need
I promise you, you're all I see
'Cause I'm tell you, you're all I need
I'll never leave

There are so many girls. I never realized how many fangirls there are for Yuri. All of them crowding around us are girls. They all look so beautiful, much better than I ever could look. I risk taking a glance at my blonde boyfriend. He's not even looking at any of them, however, there was annoyance in his eyes. How did his fans find out we were here? Couldn't we just have one day out without a mob?