Fix You | ViceRylle

14: Departed

He reached out to the other side of the bed with a smile. His expression immediately turned into a frown when he could not feel anything except the comfy sheets. He opened his eyes and found no one beside him.

He was sure that happened last night. He was sure that was Karylle. Hindi naman siya lasing para hindi maalala kung anong pinag-gagagawa niya, pero hindi rin siya sigurado kung panaginip lang ba yon dahil sa sobrang pagkamiss niya kay Karylle. He peeked under the sheets. Pero nakahubad ako eh..

Bumangon siya at nagbihis saka lumabas ng bedroom to check kung nasa labas lang ba si K. Wala siyang nakita. Napakamot nalang siya ng ulo at pumunta sa bathroom para maghilamos at magtoothbrush. His arms were numb kaya inistretch niya ito ng paulit-ulit. Nagflash naman sa isip niya na nakahiga si K sa arms niya kagabi. Dali-dali siyang lumabas ng bathroom at napansin ang papel na napapatungan ng phone niya sa bedside table. Some parts of it were smudged with tears.

Vice,

I’m sorry for everything. Maybe you’re getting sick of my countless apologies already, but I meant and will mean all of them, believe it or not. I don’t regret what happened last night, neither the kiss at the cinema, but I’m sorry for leaving you now with just a note and a bowl of adobo. I’m not sure I could handle seeing you in pain again, so I figured I must leave before you wake up.

I’m a coward, Vice. I’m selfish. I am a damager. I don’t deserve even the least bit of your attention, what more of your pain. I did things that will surely make you hate me. I did things that will surely change your mind about me. And I admit, I’m afraid that would happen once you know everything about me. I’m afraid you’d leave me completely, that you’d want to forget that we did met once. I don’t want to lose you that way. I told you, I’m selfish. I don’t want you out of my life but I want to be out of yours. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a constant in your world. I don’t want to destroy you. The more you love me, the more I will ruin you. And I don’t want that to happen because I care about you so much.

Thank you for being my light. Thank you for being there when nobody else was. I’m sure you’d find your bliss in life soon enough because you deserve to be happy. You are a great person Vice. Have a safe trip. Until we meet again.

K

He read the note on his hand over and over again. No pain was felt for his misery, no tears were shed for his heartbreak. Pagod na siya para sa sarili niya, but his heart was dying for her.

Napatingin siya sa higaan at sa paligid niya. Malungkot na ulit. Malamig na ulit.

~

She slid beside her under the sheets and hugged her tight. She surely missed the comforts of these four walls, and this familiar bed, scent, and feeling. “Ate.. Nakauwi ka na pala..” she mumbled.

Hindi siya sumagot at pumikit lang, still hugging her sister. She shoved her face on her shoulders. “Wake up, sleepyhead. Tanghali na.”

“Ehhh.. It’s early..”

She chuckled. “Come on. Ganito mo ba ko iwewelcome?”

“Umuwi ka ba para gisingin ako? Ughhhh ate..” she sat up and leaned against the headboard while trying to straighten out her messy hair. “Soooo.. how’s Manila? How’s Vice?” she said then gave her ate a smirk. Hindi naman nakasagot si K at napa-sigh nalang.

“I hit a soft spot, eh?”

Tumabi siya sa kapatid at kumuha ng pillow to hug. “It’s about time I tell you everything, Zia. Sorry for running away after that happened.. Sorry for everything.” she said after a long pause.