My life is like a TV show.
I drive to the arena, take my number at the entrance and go to the waiting room.
I'm sitting there with bunch of girls, nervous or happy. They all have blond hair and blue eyes or black hair and green eyes. They're all super skinny, wearing their best.
And me?
I'm a brunette, with dull brown eyes and no sight of makeup. No thigh gap. Wearing thights and a baggy sweater as usual. Just not fitting in the crowd.
The number of girls in front of me is becoming smaller and smaller until they call my number. I was the last one.
I enter the stage, the other girls staying around me in a semi-circle.
In front of me are thousands of people; they call them judges.
They all study me for a moment, their look is everywhere; on my wrists, no thigh gap, no makeup, my clothes and everything.
In the next moment they say their decision. The head of judges is a beautiful slim blonde with sea blue eyes and pink, soft lips.
She says:
You know, you should be ashamed of yourself. You're fat and ugly. Who does even love you? And look at those cuts. They are gross. You haven't got a thigh gap? Terrible. And just look at your face and clothes! You're a waste of space, waste of air. You don't deserve your life! Look at those beautiful girls, they all passed the competition, and you? Rather go kill yourself.
And that beautiful blonde is called Insecurity, in case you didn't know. So as I was exiting the stage I was followed by disgusted looks and awful whispers.
I came home, took a razor and thought about all the pretty girls out there. I remembered Insecurity's words. Then there was the first cut; the second; the third; the fiftyth... It was too many.
My body was naked, covered with scars, blood running everywhere. I laid myself on the cold floor.
I whispered:
I hate you, Insecurity.
Then I breathed out and suddenly everything seemed perfect.
I've met many misunderstood souls.
Nobody cared that I was gone.
I knew it.
It was always same as ever.
A/N: This one is dedicated to @ttherapy too, because she left me a beautiful coment and I'm so so so thankful for that! Love you <3
