I don't know if you ever did a self-harm. I'm sorry, so, so sorry if you did. Because nobody deserves it.
'But you have friends and family', they could say.
Yes, I can have hundreds of 'friends', but only few really, really good ones.
And my family?
They suck.
So why you even did it?
It's for attention, they say. Yeah, cutting your skin and wanting to die is just seeking for attention.
I personally never did it because of haters because trough years I've learnt about not caring at all. I cut because of my family.
It's complicated, but I'll try to explain.
I have 6 years younger sister and almost 12 years younger brother.
My sister was a premature so my mum was at hospital with her about two months.
It was terrible, I know.
But I was little and when they got home all their attention seemed to be on her. I was at the age 5-6, I needed attention. I know that was maybe selfish because she could've died, but I was a kid then.
I always told my parents "You hate me" and so.
I peed into my bed every single night.
Now, I have kinda sorta of traumas from then.
When my mum told me she was pregnant with my brother I acted happily. But tomorrow I yelled at her and later I didn't want to talk to her. When my brother was born, it seemed okay. He's 2 now and such a hardcore naughty so it's a bit hard to watch after him in the afternoons when you're supposed to do your homework.
Well, I told you this so you can understand my problem.
Basically, I'm okay with my brother, but my sister is the one who 'ruined' it all and always will be (to me). It seems a bit selfish, but when a sibling seems to take everything you needed back then, it's hard to forget.
They even got me to some sort of psychiatrist back then.
Now I sometimes cut, but I never started to bleed because I haven't got proper tool and I hope it'll stay like that.
Only two people know I did that and I hope they'll read this.
Peace to the world (even the haters!).
